Cary Clack: IT'S A WISE CHILD THAT KNOWS WHO THE EVIL NUCLEAR ENEMY IS

San Antonio Express-News ^ | January 25, 2003 | Cary Clack

[GUIDO]

Cary Clack: It's a wise child who knows who the evil nuclear enemy is

San Antonio Express-News

"Good morning, boys and girls. Are you ready to start our international affairs class?" "Good morning, Mrs. Google. Yes, we are."

"OK, what is the United States about to do?"

"Go to war."

"And what's keeping us from going to war until after Jan. 27?"

"The Super Bowl."

"You sillykins. See if you can answer this. Whom are we going to go to war with?"

"Ah, can you give us a hint?"

"OK. We're afraid of what this evil megalomaniac will do with weapons of mass destruction."

"Oh yeah, Kim Jong Il and North Korea!"

"No. Here's another hint. On the first page of the addendum to the Bush administration's report, 'National Strategy to Combat Weapons of Mass Destruction,' it says, 'We will not permit the world's most dangerous regimes and terrorists to threaten us with the world's most destructive weapons.' So whom are we going to war with?"

"Kim Jong Il and North Korea!"

"No no, sillykins. It's Saddam Hussein and Iraq we're going to war with. Next question. Before his Sept. 12 address to the United Nations, what was one of President Bush's reasons for going to war against Iraq?"

"A connection to the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11."

"Did our president mention that in his speech?"

"No."

"And what is the connection between Iraq and 9-11?"

"The same as North Korea's, none."

"Who has fired a ballistic missile over a neighboring country within the last five years?"

"North Korea."

"Good, now what would the United Nations weapons inspectors who are looking for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq like from the administration?"

"Some more hints about where they're supposed to be looking."

"What else would the inspectors, most of the American people and many of our allies also like?"

"More time to find the weapons, if they're there."

"How much more time do you think our president gave them?"

"The Super Bowl's Sunday, right Mrs. Google?"

"Who admits having nuclear weapons?"

"North Korea?"

"Whose possession of material to build nuclear weapons are we unsure of?"

"Iraq."

"Which evil megalomaniac could on a whim launch an attack right now?"

"North Korea."

"Whom are we willing to negotiate with and bribe them into behaving?"

"North Korea."

"Now class, why do you think it's true that the U.S. and U.N. must treat differently countries that have nuclear weapons and those that are trying to develop them?"

"Because they're armed and dangerous, and you want to prevent the unarmed and dangerous from also becoming armed."

"Very good. So what should the evil megalomaniac Saddam do to avoid war?"

"Lie and say that he already has nuclear weapons and wants the same deal that North Korea gets."

"Excellent. Yes, Clarice?"

"But Mrs. Google, why are we so fixated with Iraq?"

"Enjoy the Super Bowl. When you come back Monday we'll study the politics of oil."

To leave a message for Cary Clack, call (210) 250-3546 or e-mail cclack@express-news.net. His column appears on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays.

01/25/2003

[BUSHdude2000]

Thanks for posting this. Typically I read Clack's column in the print edition. At least this time he actually wrote about something other than whitey being out to get the blacks. In a real city with a real newspaper Clack would be filling the machines at 4am, at best, but here he gets a weekly column.

[RaceBannon]

that was too funny!! Cut it out!!

[GUIDO]

Sorry just got back from the game.

No I think I will probably just throw it in my fireplace tonight.

[GUIDO]

Yes with a 14 and 9 yr old boy it is golden, I had that last night, now I am making up for it. hehehe

[GUIDO]

Of course they will, they are hypocrites. Because when clinton whispered these same things they were all for it. It is obvious these people hate President Bush more than they do sadamm.

[WarSlut]

He's been a powerful voice for FR, too. We need to let him know he's appreciated every chance we get, especially with the DisrUptors doing everything they can to drive him away.

[GUIDO]

LOL, DFU, you are always on top of things. toooo fast for me.

[GUIDO]

I know that is what he usually writes about but then again this crap is just as bad. He is towing the liberal party line, and unfortunately has a place to mouth it.