DFU SONG: Teenager in Love (in love with Scott Ritter)

DFU SONG PARODIES | 1-2003 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[doug from upland]

NOTE: although I make light of this and some might think there was no harm no foul because he really didn't meet a little girl, child stalkers need to do serious jail time and perhaps be chemically castrated. If William Scott Ritter Junior is really innocent and the perp is another guy, then this song is about the other guy named Scott Ritter who was arrested twice. Parents, do you know what your child is doing on the Internet? You had better know.

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MIDI - TEENAGER IN LOVE

I just turned 14 years old…I love the Internet
I chat with older guys who sure make my panties wet

Some day we'll meet down at Burger King
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing

My mom and daddy warned me that men are sometimes sick
I'm really hoping he's…perverted like Slick

Some day we'll meet down at Burger King
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing

I'm really excited…we had another long chat
He says he's ambidextrous…oh, I can't wait for that

I had Mel Reynolds call me once from inside his prison cell
He said the day he's getting out…he wants me to ring his bell

Some day we'll meet down at Burger King
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing

I'm really excited…we had another long chat
He says he's ambidextrous…oh, I can't wait for that

His co-author I wish he'd bring…I would like to watch two men
That is, if he can find the time…he's busy on CNN

Some day we'll meet down at Burger King
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing
Where I'll watch Scotty Ritter doing his thing

[Focault's Pendulum]

I trust you know to whom I was reffering

[doug from upland]

Indeed. :)

[Focault's Pendulum]

Indeed. :)

Lest you misconstrue
You think I thought it you
The wrong would lie mislayed

Damn!!! I gotta do this haiku thing more often...mebbe I'll publish my stuff in hardcover.....of course, there'd be only one page in between.

[doug from upland]

Excellent, but I'd be more impressed if you composed it in Japanese. :)