Ole Crusty intrigues us black pantsuits do hide many bulges and ripples that fester inside beneath those dank trousers of cavernous size are dimples of cellulite upon massive thighs We cannot but marvel no matter how hard this wretch can accumulate all that gross lard She eats double portions The waitress she stiffs Her breakfasts and dinners wind up on her hips Alas, our Ole Crusty AKA Crisco Kid will have problems running for a presidential bid no matter which party no matter the man her dire diagnosis??? fat in the can