Obviously you've never served in the armed forces. It is quite okay to honor an opponent's valor, yet despise the ideals they fight for. This is something a military man would understand ... you would not. It is amazing that a piece of cloth disturbs you so much. What is it about that flag threatens you so much? You obviously don't believe in the right of self-expression, nor do you believe that Southerners were capable of fighting for something much bigger than slavery. Do you believe in the right of self determination? Do you know enough about what the Founding Fathers' intent was when they drafted the Constitution? Do you believe that once the states ratified the Constitution they signed away all right of self-determination to the Federal Government? Do you know what "Limited Government" means? And I have a Confederate Flag on my vehicle ... so does that make me a racist?
As far as your hypothetical man goes, I would suppose that he would have the attributes you would give to him. Do I think he could admire the fighting prowess of the Wermacht and not be bigoted towards Jews ... YES. But IF he is admirable of the Warrior spirit, yet capable of compassion. What I believe is that you need to dig deeper into the ideals of the Founders and discover what they intended for government. I'll give you a little hint ... self-determination was to be paramount as well as individual liberty. It was to be a country where man-over-government was the ideal. Anything else is not in their vision. Lastly ... no ... I am not a racist, and I think slavery was wrong, but I DO feel the Southern States had the right to determine their own course and domestic institutions ... FREE FROM OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE!
Oh ... and psssssssssssssst ... I spent 20 years in the US military.