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To: Excuse_My_Bellicosity
WARNING

The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead/knees.

The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to disappear.
32 posted on 12/31/2002 5:17:29 AM PST by error99
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To: error99
Why has no one yet mentioned the obvious, that wine is served in Monasteries with nearly every meal...

Not only healthful, but prevents closet Muslims from sneaking in among them. The fact alcohol ticks off the Muslims is a good reason to use it right there.

33 posted on 12/31/2002 5:27:12 AM PST by crystalk
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To: error99
What a riot! Wife and kids are being woke up by insane laughter coming from Dad's office.
37 posted on 12/31/2002 7:44:26 AM PST by RGSpincich
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To: error99
Beer Prayer

 

 
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage's,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, The bitter and The lager.
For ever and ever.
BAR-MEN

41 posted on 12/31/2002 11:11:27 AM PST by b4its2late
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To: error99
I love it!
44 posted on 01/01/2003 10:21:55 PM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity
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