You Will Have to Read This to Believe This

The New Criterion ^ | Dec. 4, 2002 | Staff Writer

[Davis]

Meanwhile, at Cornell . . .

While Saint Xavier busies itself with damage control over a history professor who cannot distinguish between protest and pedagogy, Cornell University’s health service is debating the important question of whether to sell vibrators in its dispensary. “Many students,” a college newspaper reports, “feel it would be helpful for Gannett [health center] to have vibrators available because Cornell is located in Ithaca, not a major city.” Somjen Frazer, Cornell ’03, explained the problem: “At this point, you either go online or go downtown to the sort of scary and not very woman-affirming place sex-shop.” Paraphrasing Ms. Frazer, the paper noted that, “as with anything else they sell, the dispensary will give out educational materials explaining how to properly clean a vibrator that two women are going to share and what exactly vibrators can be used for.” Yes, we can see how important that would be. Most, though not all, of the students quoted about the proposed innovation were enthusiastic. Sara Jacobs, Cornell ’05, confided that “I think one of the most important things is for women to be able to get themselves off. It’s better than going to the sketchy shop downtown where they have to check the batteries for you.” Perhaps Cornell will offer an elective on changing batteries. It seems the least they can do for—let’s see, at last count it was $38,254 all in.

[Davis]

Ok, that's it! No more donations to Cornell University...

[yoe]

Not a Joke?

Calling all Cornell alumni to stop sending checks until Ms. Frazer, who has made a joke of your University, is fired..........

[SamAdams76]

What about Amazon.com?

[Davis]

What about Amazon.com?

[Drango]

Hello...can't a Cornell student use the internet and buy her vibrator on-line?

[gaspar]

"Woman-affirming" has to be the most fatuous neologism I have encountered this year.

[hrhdave]

Only veddy high class vibrators will do for Cornell, a veddy exclusive university, elite, don't you know, a member of the Ivy League.

[Davis]

Yeah, I noted that phrase. So just what IS a "woman-affirming place?" If you find one, you might want to avoid it...

[M Kehoe]

I just had to try the url. I thought this was an Onion piece.

And what the heck does "woman-affirming' mean? Sheesh.

5.56mm

[csvset]

Ithaca: City of Evil alert.

[Skooz]

Beat me to it. What exactly does that mean?

Today's college students scare me.

[placebo]

“Many students,” a college newspaper reports, “feel it would be helpful for Gannett [health center] to have vibrators available because Cornell is located in Ithaca, not a major city"

Tain't fair all them big city folks git all them fancy toys !

[hrhdave]

>>I just had to try the url. I thought this was an Onion piece.<<

The New Criterion magazine, from which this item comes, is a high quality intellectual magazine--and it's conservative. There's lots of good stuff on the site.

[ricpic]

"...one of the most important things is for women to be able to get themselves off."

---

Agreed. Use a man. Less vibration, better penetration.

[Drango]

Use the washing machine sweetie.

What happens if you run out of quarters?

[lonestar]

They need therapy!

[Gorons]

[listenhillary]

Beat me to it. What exactly does that mean? Today's college students scare me.

Me too!

www.dadi.org/c-fest.htm