[SSN558]

I caught a long haired liberal jerk trying to slash my tires once. The moron stood up a faced me with a weapon in his hand when confronted. In the ensuing struggle he got his hand stomped on repeatedly, his shirt ripped off and pulled over his head, and a couple of bumps on the head from kissing my pickup truck. I called the Sherriffs department to find out if I was in any trouble and they said don't worry about it.

[HighWheeler]

He should have also received a nice sweet kiss from the trailer hitch. To do it properly, he should be doing about 10 feet per second when his lips hit the hitch.