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It’s a Very Un-Merry, Un-Muppet Christmas Movie
NRO ^ | 11-27-02 | Kevin Cherry

Posted on 11/28/2002 6:13:18 AM PST by dogbowl

November 27, 2002, 8:30 a.m. It’s a Very Un-Merry, Un-Muppet Christmas Movie The latest Muppets production. By Kevin M. Cherry

The Muppets, in Jim Henson's words, "are sort of fuzzy, bright-colored, cute, lovable caricatures." They started out small and grew large. Today, they're best known from their movies, the classic television series that aired from 1976-81, and, of course, Sesame Street. Henson, who created the Muppets and was the driving force behind all their performances, died in 1990. It took the Muppeteers some time to regroup.

The first full-length return was The Muppets' Christmas Carol (1992), an adaptation of the Dickens novel. A splendid performance by non-Muppet Michael Caine and musical numbers by Paul Williams (who also did the music for the first Muppet movie) made this perhaps the best of the Muppet films, though nothing can compete with the original TV series.

A decade later, the world is less innocent, and It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie reflects that. Kermit is weary, frustrated: "Corporate synergy. It's everywhere," he laments, lifting up a flipper to reveal the NBC logo on the bottom. The joke is less funny when it involves a cameo appearance by the cast of — surprise! — NBC's Scrubs.

The plot is simple enough. Evil businesswoman Joan Cusack tries to close down the Muppet Theater on Christmas Eve. Kermit tries to save the theater but fails, necessitating divine intervention in a take-off from It's a Wonderful Life. The plot serves mostly as a vehicle to spoof Christmas movies of generations past — everything from Wonderful Life to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. (The best is the allusion to the Rankin-Bass version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, which Burl Ives narrated.) There are also parodies of today's popular culture — Fear Factor, Moulin Rouge, and so on.

If this sounds more like a Simpsons Christmas special, that might be because one of the writers, Tom Martin, is a longtime Simpsons scribe. And, in a way, The Muppet Show was a precursor to that animated series: It combined quick, flashy gags with intelligent and witty asides as few other shows did. But even the Simpsons warmth is missing here: This is not a special for young children, as evidenced by Animal chugging eggnog till he passes out.

In The Muppet Movie, Kermit sang about "The Rainbow Connection," with undying optimism: "Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection/The lovers, the dreamers, and me." Some of us might accuse the frog of immanentizing the eschaton, but the sentiment was sweet and reassuring to children. Kermit 2002 screams repeatedly, "I wish I had never been born!"

Juliet Blake, the president of Jim Henson Television, says she keeps a picture of Henson on her desk. "Sometimes," she told TV Guide, "I look at it and think, 'What would you think of what we're doing now?'" It's hard to believe he would approve of the Muppets attending a rave where Scooter cage-dances and Sam the Eagle waves glo-sticks while sucking on a pacifier. In a recent promotional appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn, Kermit discussed the removal of a cameo by Snoop Doggy Dogg: "Well, I think that kinda what happened was, that, uh, Snoop came along to do our movie at about the time that he was, like, quitting drugs. Unfortunately, he was starting porn. It's really nothing personal, because, porn's fine, you know, but it's not what we do in a Muppet movie. . . ."

"Porn's fine." That sound you just heard was Jim Henson turning over in his grave.

But Henson's death affected not only the vision of the Muppet's world. Without his performance, formerly prominent characters like Rowlf the Dog are relegated to background appearances. Kermit — who could not be replaced — is performed by Steve Whitmire, who has had the job since Henson died. Other Muppeteers — such as Jerry Nelson and Frank Oz — are still around, so Gonzo, Fozzie, Rizzo the Rat, and Miss Piggy remain stars, although Richard Hunt's death means Scooter is all but invisible. Apart from Kermit, the lead Muppet is Pepe the Prawn, an unremarkable character from the short-lived "Muppets Tonight" series that aired in the mid-1990s. (Fozzie does, however, get the best scene of the film, in which he tries to deposit the necessary funds to save the theater before the bank closes.)

The human performers are hits and misses. David Arquette is splendidly insecure as an angel on his first mission. Joan Cusack comes closer than anyone else to being a walking, talking Disney villain. But Whoopi Goldberg — cast as Arquette's "boss" (they never call her God, but it's the clear implication) — is mediocre at best, as is Matthew Lillard as a flamboyant choreographer. William H. Macy is his usual talented self, but onscreen for all of two minutes; ditto for Molly Shannon. Most of the other celebrities are on screen for a matter of seconds, including the other famous green Muppet.

The end of the movie is perhaps the starkest proof that the Muppet world has changed. Yes, Kermit returns, Bailey-like, to his usual optimistic self, but while Cusack is foiled in her attempt to close down the theater, she remains immune to the meaning of the season. Even the Muppets don't seem to get it, as Pepe announces that Christmas is about "when you can help friends and get revenge on enemies."

Polemarchus may have thought so, but Socrates and Jim Henson never did. In making the Muppets hip and contemporary, they have lost what made the Muppets Muppets.

There are enough artifacts of the true Muppet holiday spirit — Christmas Eve on Sesame Street and A Muppet Family Christmas, as well as Christmas Carol — that there's no need to watch this year's offering.

— Kevin M. Cherry is a graduate student in political science at the University of Notre Dame.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: christmas; muppet
Family viewing tip: don't! Related links: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/758831/posts http://www.theonion.com/onion3218/gaymuppet.html
1 posted on 11/28/2002 6:13:18 AM PST by dogbowl
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To: dogbowl
What's happened to the Muppets and kid's TV in general is disappointing. I loved the Muppets when I was younger. (Beaker was my favorite) What made them so great was that it had humor that both kids and adults could understand and enjoy. My grandfather was also a big fan of them.

Jim Henson was a great man.

2 posted on 11/28/2002 6:29:34 AM PST by Undertow
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To: dogbowl
Looks like I gotta put this tendentious turkey on my must-miss list.
3 posted on 11/28/2002 6:35:55 AM PST by rhema
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To: Undertow
Jim Henson was a great man.

Agreed. His movies and shows were both funny and had heart. The Muppet Christmas Carol is a Christmas Day tradition at my house. I predict that this turkey will not be.

a.cricket

4 posted on 11/28/2002 6:47:39 AM PST by another cricket
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To: dogbowl
How sad...
5 posted on 11/28/2002 9:31:59 PM PST by technochick99
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To: dogbowl
I turned over to watch this because I thought my daughter would enjoy it and who do I see playing god? Whoopi Goldberg! I am plenty P.O.ed, I turned over to the cartoon channel. What they did was nothing short of blasphemy.
6 posted on 11/29/2002 5:19:57 PM PST by Brett66
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To: dogbowl
This is why I gave up watching TV programs altogether (except for "The Sopranos" on DVD). It's all garbage. Why they are still recycling the Brady Bunch from what I hear.
7 posted on 11/29/2002 5:22:34 PM PST by SamAdams76
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