The E in EIB (Rap Parody)

"Without Me", from "The Eminem Show" by Eminem, adapted by Rich | 2002 | Mathers/Bell/Bass/McLaren/Dudley/Horn/DeCamp

[RichInOC]

Two FM dopers go 'round the outside
'round the outside, 'round the outside
(...dadalupdadalupdadalupdadalup...)
Two FM dopers go 'round the outside
'round the outside, 'round the outside
(...dadalupdadalupdadalupdadalup...)

Guess who's back, back again
Rusty's back, tell a friend
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back
Guess who's back...

[SFX: lighting a cigar]
I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
hear Phildo no more they want Rusty to stand and deliver
well if you want Rusty, this is what I'll give ya
a little bit of me discussin' news off the ticker
and some Snapple that'll jumpstart my heart quicker than a
shock when I got shocked at the hospital by the Dr. when I wasn't cooperating
when I was rustlin' my papers while he was operating ("Hey!")
You waited all those hours, let's start debating cuz I'm back, I'm on the mike and modulating
I know that you got a job, Chairman Terry but your Clinton morality's complicating
So the DNC won't let me be or let me be me so let me see,
they tried to shut me down on radio and TV but I still put the E in EIB
So ya Democrat dips, Bubba's bum's on your lips, check that, he's sprayin' your lips and some other bits ("It's on the blouse!")
and get ready cuz you're about to get buried
in another landslide--SCREW YOU, TERRY!

Performing host duties flawlessly so everybody--just dittos me
Some say I like to start--controversy, but I put the E in EIB
Performing host duties flawlessly so everybody--just dittos me
Some say I like to start--controversy, but I put the E in EIB

Little hellions, skulls of mush getting rebellious
embarrassed, their parents love Bubba like Elvis
they start feeling like prisoners helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells "B.S.!...Barbra Streisand!"
For some, a right-wing vision is scary, could start a revolution, they say I'm polluting the air waves, a rebel
so let me just revel and bask, in the fact that I got you leftists scared of my ass
and it's a disaster, such a catastrophe, for you to hear so damn much of my ass, you ask for me?
Well I'm back (nanananananananana) fix your bent antenna tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention from Honolulu to Lincoln Center
I'm interesting, like Bill and Juanita wrestling
Infesting in your kid's ears and nesting
"Testing...attention please...", feel the tension soon as someone turns the dial to me
here's my 10 cents, my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Performing host duties flawlessly so everybody--just dittos me
Some say I like to start--controversy, but I put the E in EIB
Performing host duties flawlessly so everybody--just dittos me
Some say I like to start--controversy, but I put the E in EIB

A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talking that left wing shiznit...Paul Begala, you can get your butt kicked,
fly through the air and break the fall with your forehead, and Jimmy,
you're not near as bright as Mary, you 58 year old bald headed lizard, you're scary ("Damn pawtisans!")
And you're crazy, your act is old, go get your gumbo, it's over, nobody listens to leftos
Just stop the tape, or I'll get the signal, and run the B-roll next day with brand new insults
I've been dope and insightful with a 50K signal since long before Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes you know that it just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me
And try to say I'm disgusting, but it's not me, I'm not obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the best thing since old man Ronnie, to talk about how things ought to be
and use it to get myself wealthy
Hey, there's a concept that works
20 million other right wingers emerge
but no matter how many fish in the sea I still put the E in EIB

Performing host duties flawlessly so everybody--just dittos me
Some say I like to start--controversy, but I put the E in EIB
Performing host duties flawlessly so everybody--just dittos me
Some say I like to start--controversy, but I put the E in EIB

Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la... la la la
Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la... la la la

...Libs...

[RichInOC]

I posted the original version of this as a followup to BOBTHENAILER's parody of "White America" from the same album ("Right America"), and got some good reviews, so I thought I'd polish it up a little more and give it its own thread.

[RichInOC]

Thanks for the encouragement.

[jocon307]

Very good, EXCELLENT parody! El-Rushbo should use this!

[BOBTHENAILER]

A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talking that left wing shiznit...Paul Begala, you can get your butt kicked, fly through the air and break the fall with your forehead, and Jimmy, you're not near as bright as Mary, you 58 year old bald headed lizard, you're scary ("Damn pawtisans!")

I didn't think it could be improved upon....but it hits even harder now.

Great job RIOC.

[xsmommy]

i think it's great!

[TomB]

You know, as much as I loathe Eminem. I like this song.

[TomB]

BTW, I forgot to add. This parody is VERY GOOD.

[Mudboy Slim]

LOL...great work, my FRiend. Can't believe I'm buyin'into the Eminem hype, but I reckon I'm gonna haveta FReep one or two of Mr. Mathers' songs, too. Can't let you have all the fun.

FReegards...MUD

[Mudboy Slim]

BTTT...MUD

[Mudboy Slim]

"Right's Winning"
(To be sung to R.E.M.'s "Nightswimming")

Fight Tyranny...Bold Warriors of The Right!!

We must ignore the Media Whore'd, they sold out long ago...
Spins the Truth backwards so the Sheeple doze.
Clinton, he ain't Right...To Tyrants, Liberty's a Curse!
Nation needs The Right to lead her...We'll DETHRONE Willie first...
That's our solemn pledge! Slick's Goons Shall FEAR Our Might!!

Right's winning...the Truth shall come to light!!
Must make sure all the Sheeple understand.
We shan't let Traitors go...Bill Clinton must git caught!
We'll avenge the Waco Slaughter...RATS' Emperor, he's naked!
Bill's crimes won't go away...seek Justice ev'ryday!!
Right's winning...remember as we fight...
November's coming soon...Right's shooting for the moon!!

Slick, watch MUD's dreams come true!!
Re-Impeached by Congress...Convicted of Treason!!
Your vile style forever shunned...it's God's design...Right's Winning!!

Bill, your crimes condemn you...Slick, we will soon judge...
Guilty of Vile Tyranny!! I sit here laughing quietly...
MUD predicted this...Right's Winning!!

(Reprise)

Ignore the Left's protests...They love Slick 'cuz RATS love Liars!
Right's Winning!! Come join the Noble Right...

Come Join Our Righteous Fight!!

FReegards...MUD