Replies

Caught for speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid he had stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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Stuck under a bridge

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of gas..................................................................
Don't mess with these ladies

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
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Let's go for stupid

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

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Too Late

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and
walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a
policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.

"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.

"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.

"My wife," said the man"