Posted on 11/19/2002 10:42:04 AM PST by MadIvan
I DID WHAT I COULD WITH MY GASMASK
by George Formby
Now I'm getting very fond of my gasmask I declare,
It hardly ever leaves my side.
I sling it on my back and I take it everywhere,
It even comes to bed at night.
It's been a real good pal to me I must confess
And helped me out of many a mess.
My sister had a lot of socks to mend,
So she gave me a bouncing baby to tend,
And when I felt it leaking at one end,
Well I did what I could with my gas mask.
I bought a farm because I like fresh air,
At milking time a tried to do my share.
And when I found the bucket wasn't there
I did what I could with my gasmask.
The lady living next door, Mrs. Hicks
She heard the sirens blow one morn at ten to six.
She dashed outside in nothing but her nicks,
But she knew what to do with her gasmask.
By train I went for a very tiring ride,
There wasn't any corridor outside.
And when I felt the turning of the tide
Well I did what I could with my gasmask.
To see old Epstein's Adam in the nude
I once thought I'd go with my Aunt Ermintrude
And when she sniffed and said 'Uh!' how very rude
Still he knows what to do with his gas mask.
For years I've courted Anabella Price
And always found her just as cold as ice
Until one night the lass forgot her ma's advice
And I did what I could with my gasmask.
Regards, Ivan
No Darth Vader impersonations? Oh that's too bad, that's all the fun of owning a gas mask. ;)
Luukkkeee...I am your faaaather...
Love, Ivan
All right, I'll take it's a "wouldn't be prudent at this juncture" thing. ;)
Love, Ivan
Well, "wise guy", certainly. ;)
Love, Ivan
Wrong. If that's true why did the British government issue them to civilians during WWII? A gas attack even by aerial bombing doesn't deliver sufficient concentrations of the agent to overcome the average person within 4 seconds, (the maximum time that should be necessary to put on a gas mask). On the tube the gas dispersal system is likely to be very crude, probably a reaction mixture in a container, which would be thrown into a train carriage or onto a platform. Also, cyanide producing chemical reactions often produce a whitish vapour and an almond like smell, hence you would know something was going on before a lethal concentration of the gas got to you and so you could put on the mask before you were overwhelmed.
Of course, a biological attack is a completely different matter. You would have to wear your gas mask all the time while you were on the tube if you wanted to be sure you were safe from a microbial agent, since you would have no warning that the agent had been released. Strictly speaking only a military NBC-grade gas mask is guaranteed to give protection against biological attacks.
Anthrax is probably the most likely biological agent to be used, less likely are tularemia and plague, these two are more difficult to mass-produce and disperse as they are gram negative non-spore bearing coccobacilli. However, these two bacteria would cause a dangerous epidemic, since unlike anthrax they would spread to other people who were not infected in the attack. Mass production and freeze-drying of anthrax spores, under safe conditions, isn't that easy and I suspect al Qaeda would need help from Iraq, or some other scumbag nation, to mount an anthrax attack. A gas attack would be a lot easier and wouldn't require stuff to be imported, if the perps know anything about basic chemistry.
A Smallpox attack on the tube would be the worst case scenario, because by the time the first cases have been diagnosed and the alarm raised - hundreds of people all around Britain, and probably across Continental Europe, would already be infected. The Soviet's India-1967 bioweapon strain of Smallpox is the most lethal strain available, (at least a 50% mortality rate in unvaccinated victims). Unfortunately, this is the strain Sodem Insane is most likely to have, since the Russians kindly supplied it to North Korea and probably their Iraqi pals too. The British Government should buy in enough Smallpox vaccine to do the entire population and should make the vaccine available to any Briton who wants it. That would make mass vaccination easier if a Smallpox attack occurs, as well as not tying the fates of all Britons to the decisions of a bunch of incompetent PC left-wing half-wits.
What if al Qaeda attacked during the next firefighters' strike? We would be screwed. If the firefighters' union won't accept a reasonable pay offer and thinks it can hold the country over a barrel like this at a time of crisis, then I think the union bosses are worse enemies of Britain than al Qaeda.
Yes, and that's even more true here in Britain, where we can't even carry a penknife with a blade longer than 3 inches! If you did see a few terrorists on the tube about to throw a gas bomb, then the Police would still expect you to use "reasonable force" even though you'd be outnumbered, unarmed and unable to get help from the security forces. Of course, the thought of allowing our people to arm themselves to resist terrorists hasn't even occurred to the statists who run Britain. Blair would probably be more horrified at the idea of your average Brit carrying a weapon, than the idea of a successful gas attack on the tube! We could do with a few FALs over here, or just bog standard Saturday night specials, but we won't get them, not in a million years, or after 100,000 Brits die at the hands of al Qaeda.
I thought they were going on strike tomorrow morning. As it stands, I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow, thankfully.
I am appalled by the firemen. I've had two companies shot out from underneath me - it's not easy to find a job, and yet these blighters want 16% pay rises with 30 applicants for each fireman job.
Regards, Ivan
I am appalled by the firemen. I've had two companies shot out from underneath me - it's not easy to find a job...
Its a bloody nightmare finding postdoctoral research positions at the moment too. My current one runs out in February and if I don't get something lined up soon I will have to resort to teaching undergraduates statistics and basic computing skills, even though my PhD is in Molecular Microbiology. I'm looking around for postdoctoral work in the USA, its amazing how much competition for posts there is here in Britain.
I have on BBC News 24, they just said it's "10 hours" to the next strike. Perhaps some are leaving earlier than others, who knows.
The strike is a really pain in the arse for us because it means we can't work outside normal University hours, including this weekend and the Saturday after next, which means we have to put off large experiments etc.
My sympathies. Labour is absolutely helpless and hopeless in all this.
Its a bloody nightmare finding postdoctoral research positions at the moment too. My current one runs out in February and if I don't get something lined up soon I will have to resort to teaching undergraduates statistics and basic computing skills, even though my PhD is in Molecular Microbiology. I'm looking around for postdoctoral work in the USA, its amazing how much competition for posts there is here in Britain.
On average there are 300 applications for every IT job posted on British web boards. Gordo should be cutting taxes and regulation as fast as he can.
Regards, Ivan
You have an advantage over me there Ivan. I can only get terrestrial TV and only four channels. Channel 4 gives lousy reception here and I can't even receive Channel 5, still I suppose I'm not missing much considering its tastes!
Regards, Ivan
I tune in if there is some breaking news to be seen, and UK History isn't bad.
Classic FM Newsnight is the best source of news however in terms of broadcast media.
Regards, Ivan
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