Are you a beardist? (BE SENSITIVE ALERT)

BBC News ^ | November 18, 2002 | BBC News

[MadIvan]

Did you go to see the new Harry Potter film over the weekend? You could have been unwittingly supporting beardism, say facial hair campaigners.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets may seem like a spot of harmless family fun, but the film could set back the cause of beard wearers at a vital time of year for the long-suffering hirsute man.

The Beard Liberation Front (BLF) objects to the "obviously false" facial hair sported by Robbie Coltrane and the late Richard Harris in the fantasy movie.

Such "end of a broom" fakes give beardists ample ammunition to taunt bearded men, who are particularly targeted for abuse in the run-up to Christmas.

History of beards:

• Beards, fake and real, were fashionable in ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome
• 4th Century BC: Alexander the Great ordered his soldiers to shave to avoid having their beards seized during combat
• 1587: Sir Francis Drake boasted to Elizabeth I that his raid on Cadiz harbour "singed the King of Spain's beard"
• 1895: William Gillette's invention of safety razor put beards in greater peril
• 1960s: CIA said to have considered using depilatory on Castro to rob "El Barbudo" of his famous beard

"The Santa season is the worst time of the year for beard wearers," says Keith Flett, driving force of the BLF. "The taunts from children and comments we get from White Van Man get worse."

While the BLF let the first Harry Potter film open without protest, the continued lack of real beards in the second instalment has prompted it to call a boycott. Well, almost.

"Some BLF supporters said they would be given hell by their children if they weren't taken to see Harry Potter," says Mr Flett, who since his teens has worn a "Karl Marx" beard (once cruelly called a "garden gnome affair" by the Evening Standard).

"Now we're just asking our few hundred supporters to hiss and boo when the fake beards come on the screen."

Though the BLF admits its rather shambolic boycott is "light-hearted", there is a serious side, says Mr Flett.

It is argued that beard wearers not only face mockery in the streets, but more entrenched discrimination - so-called "beardism".

Labour Party strategists advised Frank Dobson to shave off his beard if he wanted to win the 2000 London mayoral election. He told them to "get stuffed", and lost.

>B>Get ahead, lose the beard

Coincidence? A survey in the image-conscious United States suggested bearded politicians polled 5% fewer votes than clean-shaven opponents.

A beard can also be a bar to holding even humble posts, like manning the supermarket deli counter. In 2001, an employment tribunal upheld Waitrose's right not to employ bearded men on food counters because facial hair posed a "significant" health risk to customers.

Beardism is also permissible in TV adverts, said the Independent Television Commission when it dismissed 25 complaints about a commercial suggesting the perfect world would be free of facial hair.

"The content of the advertisement was too far-fetched to be taken seriously and unlikely to cause deep or widespread offence," the ITC ruled.

However the Home Office has reportedly woken up to beardism, asking its managers to consider prejudice against facial hair as a form of discrimination.

Beards have ritual significance in several religions, a symbolic importance which has come into sharper focus in the wake of 11 September.

Following a spate of racist attacks, some American Sikhs reportedly shaved to avoid being mistaken for Muslims, who bore the brunt of public anger about the al-Qaeda terror attacks.

Free to shave

The Taleban's much-vaunted enthusiasm for facial hair meant that when the regime fell, Afghan men celebrated their freedom to shave again.

Taleban and al-Qaeda suspects taken by the Americans to Camp X-Ray also lost their beards involuntarily - something criticised by some observers of the detention camp.

Beard facts

• Men have about 15,000 facial hairs
• Beards grow about five inches a year

Even in more normal prisons, inmates are fighting for their beard rights. In California, Orthodox Jews and Muslims are opposing a ban on facial hair - imposed after a prisoner fooled guards and escaped San Diego County jail by removing his customary beard.

The BLF says its campaign doesn't stop at the chin. It is defending the rights of all people not to be judged on their appearance or forced to dress and groom in a way dictate by others.

So the BLF defends anyone's decision to hid their face under whiskers? "Well, it might help our cause if Richard Branson shaved his beard off," says Mr Flett.

[MadIvan]

I have a beard. I am really laughing at this. I hope that they aren't taking it seriously. I mean, I really hope they aren't taking it seriously! ;)

Regards, Ivan

[MadIvan]

Bump!

[sheik yerbouty]

"A beard is the glory of its face."

[sauropod]

Wonder what the response of the BLF would have been to
the bearded lady at the carnival?

[Paul Atreides]

Does EVERYONE have some sort of fringe group, accompanied by a gripe?

[wimpycat]

The oppressed and subjugated Bearded Collies.

[MadIvan]

Does EVERYONE have some sort of fringe group, accompanied by a gripe?

Hitherto I wasn't even aware I was part of a fringe group. ;)

But I guess I am now - I have a beard, and I'm proud!

Regards, Ivan

[areafiftyone]

My boyfriend tries to grow a beard (uses the excuse that in the winter it keeps himm warm but that is a bunch of bull) but I won't let him. I keep tell him he looks like a homeless person or Moses or Bin Laden and that turns him off of it. I get grossed out by it because when they eat it looks sooooo disgusting.

[Dog Gone]

I used to grow a beard for hunting season every fall. In the late 80s, I decided to keep it. I don't even think about it anymore.

[Britton J Wingfield]

Yes. I myself am founder of the Bronzed Adonis Liberation Front. My people have been horribly oppressed.

[Paul Atreides]

I wasn't referring to you as being a fringe group, just for having a beard. It seems that every time we turn around, there is some group, claiming to speak for everyone, being offended or worried over something.

FWIW, I used to have a beard, as well.

[general_re]

Does EVERYONE have some sort of fringe group, accompanied by a gripe?

Yes.

[BikerNYC]

Does a goatee count?

[MadIvan]

I myself am founder of the Bronzed Adonis Liberation Front

Is that affiliated with Narcissists United? I heard they disbanded after all the members just wanted to make speeches about themselves. ;)

Regards, Ivan

[HELLRAISER II]

I have a beard & it's alway's trimmed & neat, currently it's just a Goatee. Only slobs let food get in their beard, maybe he needs to work on his eating habit's more than his grooming habit's.

[Desdemona]

My boyfriend tries to grow a beard (uses the excuse that in the winter it keeps himm warm but that is a bunch of bull)

I have a cousin who is an iron-worker and grows his out for exactly that reason every winter. At least until his youngest was born, and he was afraid he would scare her. I doubt anything would scare that kid.

[MadIvan]

I wasn't referring to you as being a fringe group, just for having a beard.

Don't worry. I'm very amused by all of this - I've never been an oppressed minority before. ;)

Regards, Ivan

[MadIvan]

I have to trim my beard every other day - do that and he shouldn't have a problem.

Regards, Ivan

[wimpycat]

Hey, I'm a fan of ZZ Top and all, but would buy a sandwich from them? Hell no, not without a hairnet!

[DainBramage]

"A beard in hand is worth two in the bush."