"Not me," observed the private. "When I get out of the Army, I never want to stand in line again."
II. By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager.
"Never better."
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?
A: Turkey.
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ?
A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ?
A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !
Q: What is the best Iraqi job ?
A: Foreign Ambassador
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.
Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000,000.
Q: "How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A: You only have to teach them to take off.
Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ?
A: B-52...F-16...A-10
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ?
A: Duck
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ?
A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats ?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ?
A: He elected to receive.
Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: They need a map....