Geraldo Is Out Of His Cage

Fox News | 11-15-02 | Self

[blackdog]

Imagine being a weapons inspector with Geraldo nosing around your butt. The sedatives have become ineffective and our Super-Geraldo is now in Cyprus reporting on anything that has to do with weapons inspection, including where to pick up your paycheck.

Inspectors are despirately trying to find Geraldo's lair where his sidearm and "How you too can be a weapons inspector book" is stashed. Geraldo has hired a tailor in Cyprus who will begin fashioning custom tailored weapons inspector outfits once Geraldo gets a peek at this years UNSCOM fashions.

The familiar sunglasses neatly arranged atop Geraldo's head have been modified for him as a favor from Donald Rumsfeld. They are a combination sunglasses/Predator Drone beacon array. Wearing them on top his head assures the Predator Drone will detect him as a friendly.

Actual inspectors have been waiting for Geraldo to sleep in order to gain access to his belongings since he hides them in a shell game of bunkers. The problem is that Geraldo is so juiced up on teststerone and amphetamines he won't enter a sleep phase for several weeks yet.

[blackdog]

It will be a great holiday season this year with Geraldo being let out of his cage.

[Capt_Hank]

Nothing gets me more riled than that A$$. I change the channel when he comes on the screen. I was hoping MSNBC would make him an offer to replace Donahue. With his poor ratings, he might disappear from the tv screens forever. I have been blocked by FNC because of my many emails about, "Geraldo The Fake".

During the "sniper" problem, why in the hell was he in Maryland? I thought he was a so called "war reporter". He showed his true non-professional colors at "Hooter's". But, as you can see, FNC is still trying to find a spot for him and make us like and listen to him. Will not work on my end...... NO WAY.

[rambo316]

Yeah, I wince every time I see that A$$, Whorealdo. i do not know what Roger Ailes was thinking when he hired that idiot. Same goes with that other A$$, Greta "Woman of a thousand faces" Sustern.

[blackdog]

Geraldo is just hyperactive. He has good intentions, a collassal ego, and an enthusiasm for something big. He is like the kid who failed journalism school horribly because he had no patience for jounalism. He delivers something else instead. I like it, but I don't know how helpful it really is. I find him the best entertainment around.

If you really want to see him doing funny, watch him in the original Howard Stern Underpants Party Video from 1988.

[Miss Marple]

Actually, I watch where Steve Harrigan is. He has been absent for a while, and he showed up in Jordan the other day.

I missed Geraldo this morning. Has he started going native yet? That was my favorite part when he was in Afghanistan...all the diffeent hats he wore! LOL!

[Capt_Hank]

Are you kidding? There is no way that I would actually watch "Geraldo The Fake". So I guess you believed the incident when he had a "sniper" firing at him? He should have been exiled with Arafat.

I see FNC sent Geraldo's parter from CNBC, Diane Dimond, over to Court TV. That would also be a good place for Greta "Clutch Cargo", never watch it.

Also, not a Stern fan.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

"It will be a great holiday season this year with Geraldo being let out of his cage."

And Zeus proclaimed to Poseidon, "Let loose the Kraacken!"

[blackdog]

He was really funny today. I sense he is really going over the top on this one. He is really funny getting interviews from these highly diplomatic, phrase parsing, non committal UNSCOM officials! He has an odd way of showing a spectacular mess in the making without realizing it.

If Geraldo was taken prisoner, put in a bamboo spiked cage naked, and beaten within an inch of his life, his last request would be for a microphone and video.

The man counts for something. I just don't know what yet?

[Miss Marple]

Do you ever get the feeling that there is some cosmic purpose behind things? Like Geraldo's convergence with the UN...sort of like "When Worlds Collide."

Maybe he will be the one to discover proof of Clinton's complicity with terrorists or something, and will have a live melt-down on national television.

God works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform...

[Wright is right!]

"I missed Geraldo this morning. Has he started going native yet? That was my favorite part when he was in Afghanistan..."

If it's a REAL "going native" experience you want, watch what Amy Kellogg is dressed in the next time she pops up. That gal can go native in 2.2 seconds. I don't know if she is fulltime Fox or they just hire her as a "stringer."

Michael