If I may bud in. You are right in saying that it is odd that the Mother of our Lord was not present early that first day of the week as the Holy Scriptures attest to. It is a case where silence os golden. The ancient oral Tradition of the Fathers of the Church shows the belief that Mary, the Mother of God, did not show up because she knew Christ was going to Resurrect from the dead! In fact she would have been the first person whom Jesus showed Himself to. Is it recorded in the Holy Scriptures? No. Does the Holy Scriptures deny this? No.
If you wanted to play games with this, I'll just say that, truth be told, the Holy Scriptures do not record the Resurrection! This most important event is not recorded! It is recorded that He did Rise, but the event itself isn't recorded. Therefore, when seen in this light, the above statement about Mary not showing up at the tomb is sound belief. Sacred Tradition (not to be confused with human traditions) and Holy Scripture are both the Word of God and cannot contradict one another. They complement one another!
I notice that you have a tendency to emotionalize your language when you're getting the worse of an exchange.
"didn't care enough to even bother" - come on.
The fact is, the sitting shiva thesis turns out to have some plausibility (though it's hardly been proven) and there is nothing in Jewish law which says that a body is not considered buried until its been treated with spices and ointments. That you seem to have made up out of whole cloth.
I think anyone who's spent as much time as you have reading the Gospel accounts of Christ's death and resurrection realizes that recreating an exact timeline with all the concomitant circumstances is not a cut-and-dried exercise.
I think DonQ's idea deserves to be weighed - as does your theory.