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While you are fighting terrorists, we have a little situation at home today. It all started when a group of Haitians decided to jump the boat they were riding on and come on into America (Actually, it was Miami). Of course, someone forgot to tell these idiots that they aren't granted permission to stay in America by merely jumping out of the boat and beaching on the beach. That's saved for Cubans. Well, as you can imagine; the INS seems to be having trouble rounding some of them up. (MoJo wonders why we still have such a useless government agency in power. However, aren't most government agencies useless). Can you imagine the picture of people running around Miami with the police and INS agents chasing them down. Gosh, can you not envision people stopping along the Highway in Miami to cheer these wannabe citizens on. Of course, they want to seek political asylum in America. It seems they have economical, political, and social unrest in Haiti. Obviously, news of Floriduh voters (Okay, Goddess we know you are smart enough to vote) unable to punch a hole correctly has not quite made it to the shores of Haiti. Also, let me point out that Haiti is yet another example of the screwed up mess left by Bill Clinton's stupidity and Jimmy Carter's peacemaking capabilities. Here's what really bothers MoJo: It takes forever to get into and out of America if you are an AMERICAN. However, if you aren't supposed to be here; YOU ARE FREE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT! They can't find you! Hello? Somebody at the INS needs a "SMACKDOWN".
Remember The French? How could anyone forget such a useless country. Anyways, we are waiting around while the imperialist snobs decide whether or not they will support a United Nations resolution against Iraq. I'm wondering what fool gave them veto power to begin with. If that person's not dead, he should be dragged into a US court and made to tell the whole country why they have a VETO vote. Also, Jacques Chirac has told Tony Blair that "he doesn't appreciate how rude he's being treated". Honey, if you want rude..CALL ME! You can't begin to imagine the vile things I'd like to say to you. You can't imagine what pleasure it would be to run you up one side of the flagpole and down the other side. It is the least I can do. Now, here's the funny part, troops: He thinks that the (oxymoron coming) "French Soldiers" are being asked to do too much. Pleasssee!! If the French did anything useful, that would make headlines around the world. As such, they will still be the ignorant, blubbering fools that we've come to hate. Oh! One more thing: WHY THE HELL DON"T YOUR WOMEN SHAVE UNDERNEATH THEIR ARMPITS? Is it so hard to shave at least once a freaking month?
Today's "JACKASS AWARD" goes to an idiot who personally sent me an email because he was "disturbed and disheartened"by my rants against muslims and blacks. He asked me if I was one of those "self hating blacks" that doesn't understand what the struggles are in the community. So? I've decided to answer you here. You have obviously made it a point to read my tidbits. So? Here's my answer to you: First, I don't see anything peace loving about the muslim religion as a whole. (MoJo can see the anti-Falwell brigade seething) Second, I do agree that there are Christians that have created major sins. However, I must point out that NOT ONE SINGLE child, mother, father, brother, sister, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or any other person was murdered in NYC, Washington DC, Pennsylvania, Jerusalem, Moscow, or Bali because of Christian terrorism. I'm wondering if you can tell me which branch these people spawned from? Just curious! Hold your answer because I'm not done. Third, Louis Farrakhan, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton are hardly indictive of the black community. (Although, I'm disturbed the majority still vote Democrat; but that's me) Most blacks work hard and are trying to make a better life for their children. They don't have time to screw over the rest of the community, racially bait fellow citizens, or protest the most assanine issues known to man. Fourth, I'm not black. Not that it matters. However, if I'm going to be insulted..please do it correctly. I'm an American of Samoan descent. And spare me the damn hyphens. I'm American first and foremost. If Western Samoa would be foolish to start a war with America, I'd say "Pass The Ammo and Let's Roll". Fifth, if you are so troubled by these tidbits; it has hit a nerve with you. These tidbits are here to entertain the troops and those who want to be entertained. You can't possibly tell me that you are proud of Louis' hatred speeches. He does nothing to enhance racial peace, but merely promotes an agenda that will guarantee that he stays in power. That's what these racial issues are about: MONEY and POWER. When they shout accusations, people will run in fear. Is that any way to promote the black community and racial harmony. Sixth, as you could expect..I could give a Rat's Rear End about racial harmony. If you like me, fine. If you don't, fine. It doesn't change who and what I am. That's about it. Seventh, our troops are culturally diverse. They come from backgrounds and socioeconomic statuses across the board in this country. The fact that these brave men and women will fight to allow MoJo to answer you and vice versa is a tribute to our diversity and our love for freedom. Since I think you are still an idiot, you will receive the award for today. You just make me smile. I'm making a dent into the stupidity of racial politics. You know it!
There is a website called NOT IN MY NAME. They are opposed to the war against Iraq. (Which I might add hasn't even begun. At least not that I've heard) Anyways, they are of course filled with some of the wackiest people known to America. All in one website. How brillant is that? And it just so happens that they have message boards giving each other a pat on the back. (MoJo knows there are other places on the internet like that as well..kind of annoying, huh) Well, Susan Sarandon is ticked that we only want to fight Iraq to get all their oil for Big Oil. She thinks it somehow doesn't make sense to actually free the world of a tyrannt. She doesn't believe that liberating an oppressed people should be a priority. After all, she finds plenty of them at the website and outside when she and Tim Robbins ride around in their limo. Also, I think it's a great idea that she visits Iraq. Make sure to take: Barbra Streisand, Woody Harrelson, Julia Roberts, Harry Belafonte, John Cusak (Who the hell is he?? Remember those lame 80s teen movies?), and every other anti-American American. Oh!! And don't start claiming to be American when the bombs start dropping. Say hello to Allah for our troops.
(MoJo's insensitivity is moving on..)The picture of above is Esera Tuaolo. He's Polynesian. (MoJo is also Polynesian according to the Census) Many of you will recognize him as a football player in the NFL. He's no longer there because he couldn't take the "gay slanders" in the lockerroom. (Those damn insensitive males!! Obviously, he's never been privy to a conversation of women..WE ARE RUTHLESS) Anyways, he's finally come out of the closet (rather big one) and he's admitted that he's gay. So? MoJo thinks that I should also be honorable and come out of the closet as well. I AM A HETEROSEXUAL. (Don't you feel better? Where's my interview with Barbara Walters?) Anyways, one of these stupid Liberal journalists claimed that he thought Tuaolo was one of the most honorable athletes he'd ever seen. (MoJo could pass along a few tales about the Hell Raiser he was as a youngster, but I won't go there) Anyways, this journalist said that Tuaolo is just the first in a line of many that will be coming out of the closet. (Why the hell doesn't the "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL" policy spare us from this crap?) Anyways, I've been thinking about that recently. I don't care if you are gay. I will care if you are gay and I've loved you since I was a little girl. So? My husband and Matt Biondi better keep it real and love women (Matt can love other women..Mr.MoJo without a fabulous tan cannot). If not, I'm going to stick my head in the oven and the Useless News Tidbits will be over. Also, the journalist was worried about people making fun of him. I'm maybe going to take a leap about this one, but I DOUBT ANYONE IS GOING TO SAY SQUAT TO HIM. What do you think??
The pictures today are of Jennifer Lopez and of troops. (MoJo wants you to imagine yourself in this picture.) Anyways, Jennifer Lopez has stated that she will give up her double career (singing and acting is a double career in Hollywood these days. It isn't based on talent like when Snow Bunny was the hottie of the town) to start a family. Yes, she wants to start a family. The only problem is her ability to find the "perfect man" to be the father. MoJo thinks she should chuck all those high paid pimps and get a real man. Jennifer, get yourself a Sailor, Soldier, Coast Guardsmen, Marine, or Airmen. You'd be doing the most honorable thing you've ever done in your life. (Well, besides dumping P. Diddy) \ NEWSFLASH!! Walter Mondale has decided to run in place of the recently departed Senator Paul Wellstone. I'm wondering why the hell this was ever in question. He was nearly whizzing in his Depends to do it. Good grief. Wake me up when this election cycle is over. Oh! Don't forget to vote troops! I will be keeping tracks of any officials or states that will try to deny our brave men and women the right to vote. I will be all over those people like an alcoholic locked in a liquor store. I wanted to take this segment and give a SHOUT OUT to a few people in the Canteen and elsewhere. First, I wanna give huge props to Snow Bunny for the creation of the Canteen. She's just awesome, isn't she?? Second, if you haven't ever seen a great photojournalist. You should check out Diogenesis. He works very hard to bring all the photos of what's going on around the world to the FreeRepublic and the Freepers. So? Do a search on his name and see what I mean. The photos will make you cry, laugh, tick you off, and will make you very thankful that someone cares enough to do it. Also, please send him a word of encouragemnt troops. He brings photos of you to us. Who knows? Maybe one of you has already been shown. How awesome is that? Third, Coteblanche works herself to the ground to bring us the Poetry Branch. If you have a chance, check it out. Please post any words that you may have. I stay over here because they are all too brillant for the likes of MoJo. (I sneak over there to be inspired and to read what really brillant people can write..WOW!! Amazing) Fourth, I wanted to say thanks to LindaSOG (She can do it all), AntiJen (She's a hero),DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet(MoJo has to say Duchess name out three times before I can confidently type it in correctly..LOL) Kathy In Alaska (MoJo's Ma in the Canteen! MoJo's real mom can't watch me all the time.), tomkow6 (You think you've got issues..try talking to one of his voices),SaMWolf ( He's really a jack of all trades in here for us), bentfeather, zip, bluesagewoman ( If you have a chance, try to get over to see the MO Freepers Rally..AWESOME GROUP), our Chap Grant (He can be found in the Poetry Branch as well), Mr.Tonkin (MoJo thinks he is such an honorable man. He works hard at his job and then comes home to make sure we have a way to communicate with you. God Bless him) Mr.Magoo, StarMan, Valin,Aeronaut, amograut,radu (Vampire's beware), Radix, HiJinx (He is a Buckeye and thus, ABSOLUTELY COOL), GatorGirl and Severa (Both Navy wives who make America proud with their own service,redhead, Johnny Gage (The coolest firefighter you will ever meet), 4TheFlag and GooberDoll (We love you both!!),FallGuy (HE ROCKS) and many others who we miss dearly. However, I hope you enjoy what each person brings to the Canteen. We sure enjoy bringing it to you!! Alright already! I'm done babbling!
WOOHOO Can you say "SHAKIRA"? She's so darn lonely! Could you help her get over being lonely?? That's the spirit!! Thank you for going along for the ride Thank You
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