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LMFAO!

At first he nearly swallered his front gold tooth when he espied her skanky treehuggin' a$$ there before him. "Zounds! This b!tch just don't quit." Then he reconsidered, "Hey, what the hell..."

Six hours and unknown cuervo fifths later, MasterGeek awoke, clambered over a cheese-whiz-slathered slumbering twosome, kicked a broken ceiling fan from his path and staggered into the dim hallway. "Gad. Those broads looked a hellovalot hotter last night..." At that exact moment the evil Anu'udrian vice-lord ordered the utter and total annihilation of earth civilization. His talented tri-tongued secre-tary, who unbeknownst to him was a spy for MasterGeek, immediately boarded a small vessel headed for Big Joe's, hiding key logistical outlines in her--

Laurie sighed as she sat back, herbal cigarette between her ruby-hued lips. The earth had moved, the sky had thundered, and her new lover now slumbered peacefully beside her. Gone were her agonies over unfaithful, unappreciative minor imperial functionaries, gone the heartbreak of unrequited love, gone (mostly) were the glutinous bits of Poopsie that clung to her cashmere sweater like festering organic dingleberries. She was at peace. Snuggling close into the welcoming arms of her Anu'udrian studmuffin, she reflected that a properly lived life did, at last, reward the righteous with paens of bliss, and that when they awoke, refreshed, she and Andy would find MasterGeek and his truculent friends and deposit a lithium fusion missile where the triple suns of Altair don't shine...