1,000 Women Hear Dole's Call [Parody]

The Charlote Observer ^ | 9/24/02 | JIM MORRILL

[Gothmog]

Candidate highlights her own experiences breaking glass ceiling

GREENSBORO - Republican Elizabeth Dole pitched for women's votes Monday at a fund-raiser that organizers called North Carolina's largest-ever women's political gathering.

"The power of women helping women should never be underestimated," she told more than 1,000 women packed into a ballroom at the Grandover Resort. "One of the things we're trying to do is break glass ceilings."

Dole devoted much of her remarks to her own history of pushing the envelope for women as one of the first women at Harvard Law School and as secretary of the federal Transportation and Labor departments. At a news conference, she also highlighted her support for issues important to women, including child care and battered women's programs, adding, "Today, all issues are women's issues."

Among other things, Dole called for increasing federal spending for child care by $6.5 billion over five years. That proposal is part of a budget bill crafted by House Republicans. Senate Democrats are pushing for about three times the increase.

[Gothmog]

I wonder what might happen if the article was slightly changed:

Candidate highlights his own successes

GREENSBORO - Republican Bob Dull pitched for men's votes Monday at a fund-raiser that organizers called North Carolina's largest-ever men's political gathering.

"The power of men helping men should never be underestimated," he told more than 1,000 men packed into a ballroom at the Grandover Resort. "One of the things we're trying to do is make more money and earn more power and prestige as we climb the corporate ladder."

Dull devoted much of his remarks to his own history of pushing the envelope for men at Harvard Law School and as secretary of the federal Transportation and Labor departments. At a news conference, he also highlighted his support for issues important to men, including reduced alimony and more sports clubs, adding, "Today, all issues are men's issues."

Among other things, Dull called for increasing federal spending for defense by $6.5 billion over five years."

[areafiftyone]

Republican Bob Dull pitched for men's votes Monday at a fund-raiser that organizers called North Carolina's largest-ever men's political gathering.

While giving out free samples of Viagra

[spokeshave]

I thought for a moment this was someting to do with Dod Dole and his use of Viagra....

[spokeshave]

Dod = Bob....sorry