Posted on 09/23/2002 12:47:24 PM PDT by SLB
And believe it or not, most people say that I look like I'm still in my 30's and too young to have 4 teens, so raising these kids hasn't been a hardship.
Time for me to go. Bye!
Conversely the "Greatest Generation" (they mostly did SPARE THE ROD) is responsible for the 'flower child generation'. They planted the seed for the Dr. FeelGood, do your own thing, do gooders that followed Dr. Spock et al religiously producing what we see today as the PC world gone amouk.
Of course this is just this one man's opinion, I could be wrong!!
If that doesn't bring the kid around to your way of thinking (about the behavior under review) then leave him/her for awhile to reconsider. That gives you time to make sure your anger is under control. Then when you return to the room, if s/he is still being stubborn, you apply another series of age appropriate rod-blows. (Again, maybe one for a 1 year old, up to 10 for an older teen.)
Keep this up until s/he repents. Never in anger, never more than a few rod-blows at a time. The rod will never leave a physical injury. But deep down, the rod works on the child in a way that God designed into everyone of us.
This method will defeat rebellion. Some stubborn, strong-willed children will need more, longer sessions than others, but in the end (yeah, I know) it will work. It breaks the child's will to rebel, but it doesn't break the child's spirit.
Remember, the boy or girl has offended you, the parent, and s/he knows it. S/he needs, and craves, to be corrected, but s/he also needs to be forgiven for the offense.
To correct with the rod, or to punish, without forgiving afterward, leaves a more rebellious and angry child than you had before.
The question of spank or not to spank is on the same level of the philisophical right and wrong. Today foolish people believe in relativism and do not believe in aboslutes and right and wrong. On different levels these are the majority of people that want a law to prevent any freedom and control and restrict all human behavior. Don't drink, don't smoke, don't speed, don't eat meat, don't own a gun, don't show God in any form in public!
Spanking is not punishment as much as it is deterrent. It is an action ment to convey to an individual that certain behavior is not acceptable and will result in a negative feedback. Children under the age of reason react to pleasure and pain. Food, shelter, warmth, comfort, and all their physical needs are the primary things on their minds. You can not reason with a 4 year old as to why an electric fan or a hot iron is not something to play with. You could let them injure themselves and discover it for themselves, but that is not parenting. They will remember the small discomfort of a gentle or forceful slap on the butt as a reminder they have over stepped the boundary or attempted something unsafe and will think twice before doing it again. They are not smart enough to be reasoned with nor can a stern look always accomplish what a spanking will. If they are stuborn or stupid they will try again and that is personality at play and eventauly as they get older it is good and evil at play. Yes, in some instances there are just plain evil people in the world that no amount of spanking, discipline, deterrence, will ever help. If they have no conscious or ability to understand or accept right from wrong and are phsycopathic than there is no cure.
There is a reason the Old Testament says to spare the rod will spoil the child. It is the fact that children never provided with the instruction of deterrence end up learning this lesson to late in life with more devestating results. That there are limits to socially accepted behavior, actions for public safety, and moral judgments.
Do all people have to spank? No, not if you are blessed with an intelligent angle or a child that never takes a risk or hardly explores their world or probes any of their limitations or limits. You are lucky. I was lucky and have two beautiful, loving, and charming young ladies for daughters. They learned to respect my voice and only once or twice when they were preschool age did I ever have to spank them and never again for the same reason. They learned the limits and they learned that I was consistant, loving, attentive, and looking out for their welfare and the families welfare and that my wife and I set the limits for acceptable behavior or acceptable exploration of life. They are go getters and not afraid of life and respect others. They are better than me and my wife in many ways. Not all people are the same. So don't tell me spanking is never allowed. Don't use the words always and never because these can only be applied by God who is perfect and only mimicked by the government which is always imperfect but thinks it is god.
They are using "discipline" in the verb tense. That gives more weight to their side.
RE: Sarasota, FL. a Downtown "Noise" Oridnance stops restaurants from featuring music outside at certain venues.
See? They defined the terms of the argument because it certainly isn't a "music" ordinance.
Kids have other friends. They don't have other parents.
Personally, if I had a daughter, she would have been the most spoiled thing in the world, because I could not only not spank a little girl, I could not even say no to one. My wife informs me, that is why we have boys.
Had no trouble spanking them. Never had to spank any after six years old. They have thanked me for the descipline, especially when they see what has happened to freinds whose parents were too "soft-hearted" to spank.
I know a family that had one boy and one girl. The boy was extremely easy going, pleasant little fellow. He just never disobeyed. Never got spanked. Never neeeded it. Now owns his own business, and takes all the neighborhood kids to the movies on weekends.
Now the girl. Lovely little thing, but stubborn, willful, and defiant. She got a few spanks. She's is now a very successful business woman, but had a few bumps in her teenage years.
Every child and every parent is different. There are absolutely no single rules that will fit every situation. Most parents are very stupid, do all the worng things, have terrible kids, and still, most turn out alright. Of course, this assume there are two parents and they at least try to do the right thing, and are able to shield them from the influence of the public schools.
Hank
Our next 2 boys, we never bribed or negotiated anything. The law was set and that was that. They are much more well adjusted and happy. After about 4 years old, we never ever had to spank them anymore.
I had a sister in law who always used bribery, and I really thought it was wrong. I was spanked as a child, and the schools spanked too. It was an effective deterrent. and we respected all adults.
my six-year old doesn't need a "kid reason." he would care if i were tired... at six years, he does not believe the world revolves around him... he's not so enthralled in just himself...
Do any of you realize how hard it is to type w/a bandaid on your finger? LOL
I have several kids, what works with one doesn't necessarily work the others. But one thing that is certain is that the children must know that the parent is the one in charge. There is definitely a huge difference between behaviors of my generation and the present ones and that being said there is certainly a reason for it.
Spanking is one part of teaching a child discipline, but not the whole. You need to talk to them, guide them, watch them and try to help them avoid trouble in the first place. Most of all you need to guide by example.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.