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The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles
(These are *real*)
Compiled By: Bill Atchley (atchley@coltrane.gnets.ncsu.edu)
- Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
- Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
- Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
- How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
- How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
- I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
- I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
- I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
- I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
- I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
- I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
- I Wanna Whip Your Cow
- I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck
- I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
- I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
- I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
- I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
- I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
- I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
- If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
- If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
- If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
- If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
- If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
- Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
- My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
- My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
- My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
- My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
- Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
- Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
- She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
- She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
- She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
- She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
- Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
- They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
- Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
- When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
- You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
- You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
- You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
- You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
- You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
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