We need to respect the noble chimpanzee's ways, yes, but we also have an obligation to establish 'safe houses' for chimpettes who have inflamed the ire of their old men and earned a dusting off.
Perhaps we might employ some of our bulkier, man-hating human females to act as escorts in such cases, extracting the hapless chimpettes from harm's way as discreetly as possible while the exhausted males nap after dishing out a lusty monkey beating.
They could drive Land Rovers, loaded with stuffed animals for the chimpette's babies to play with.
The adult male chimps will, of course, be required to attend mandatory anger management classes.
