WHAT'S THE WORST CAR OF THE MILLENIUM

Car Talk dot com ^ | unknown date | Staff

[doug from upland]

CLICK HERE FOR ENTIRE ARTICLE AND ALL 10 OF THE DISHONORED PIECES OF JUNK

No. 10 - VW Bus

"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transportation."

"There was no heat--unless, that is, the auxiliary gas heater caught fire."

"The flower stickers were the only things that held the car together."

"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."

"It was a death trap on the highway-you could never go fast enough. The chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear."

No. 9 - Renault Dauphine

"Truly unencumbered by the engineering process."

"At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen... which was half the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had half as many parts."

"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."

"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."

"A side impact by a bicycle totaled my Dauphine after only one year."

No. 8 - Cadillac Cimarron

"GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they pulled it off-for a while."

"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had a Caddy price tag!"

"A stupid marketing ploy. Nothing more than a Chevrolet Cavalier, which Roger Smith gussied up and called a Cadillac."

"When we traded it in my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long enough for her to buy a gun and shoot it."

No. 7 - Dodge Aspen/Plymouth Volare

"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."

"The stalling problem was so bad that I had to take a clockwise route to work so I could make all right turns, and not risk stalling on a left turn in front of oncoming traffic."

"After the floor boards rusted out in the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."

"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car used in National Lampoon's Vacation."

"Owning a Volare was total ego death--the theme song, the vinyl Landau roof, the inability to pass another car on the highway."

Nol 6 - Renault Le Car

"I'm convinced that the body metal for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."

"Like any French restaurant in America, it was overpriced, noisy, moody, and would put you in mortal danger if you had an accident with anything larger than a croissant."

"Our Le Car couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had to get out and walk up."

"I left it unlocked overnight, and it was finally stolen. The insurance check paid for a textbook."

[rockfish59]

One of those old MARTINA NAVRATHEVOLVOS!

[L.N. Smithee]

I once went on a tow call to an accident in town, neither vehicle was going over 20, a le car was T-boned by a 67 Ford Pickup, the right door of the le car was pushed almost to the center of the car, the pick up had some damage but drove away.

That doesn't sound like a "T-bone" -- more like the dot on an "i."

[rockfish59]

One of the better ones!

[Uni-Poster]

Looks like a Pinto with a makeover

[Looking4Truth]

I don't know about the worst yet, but the ugliest 'thing' in the new millenium so far is the Pontiac Aztec. Hideously fugly!!

[DentsRun]

I learned to drive on a Corvair Spider, a car that had a much undeserved bad rap.

You're absolutely right. It felt so solid and low to the ground people tried to drive it as if it was a sports car, which it wasn't. That's why they turned over. People were pretending they were driving Porsches. It also had terrific traction in snow (you didn't snow tires, let alone chains). There were no transmission humps. The foot room was great. On the bad side, it leaked oil. The rear grill was always getting knocked off. The fan belt kept coming off (it operated in two planes at right angles to each other). And the early models had gas heaters.

[BluesDuke]

The worst car of the millenium? heheheheheheh....

In no particular order of disdain, these are the cars that will withstand the detest of time:

LeCar (Renault) - Le crapola.

The Thing (Volkswagen) - What was left after an artillery shell ripped the top off a wanna-be armoured gun vehicle.

Corvair (Chevrolet) - Nader, Schmader: this car wasn't the death trap he called it, but it was a piece of garbage regardless. My mother was fool enough to buy the '61 Corvair station wagon and all she got was soot across the tailgate.

Gremlin (AMC) - Should be self-explanatory.

1960-62 Lancer (Dodge) - What its sister car, the Plymouth Valiant, resembled after surviving an acid fight between rival gangs.

Those butt-ugly 1950s "business coupes" - You know the ones: two doors, two-seat capacity, slightly elongated rear ends, tiny round roof covering only the doors. Dishonourable mention: The Plymouth, Dodge, and DeSoto models. (Go to your DeSoto-Plymouth dealer but don't you dare tell 'em Groucho sent you...)

1948 Hudson - It had to be seen to be disbelieved. Still does.

That pathetic joke of a 1986 Lincoln Town Car that some nimrod in Yuba City, California mounted on a monster truck chassis in 1992-98 - As God is my witness, I am not making this up: the car did (does, for all I know) exist. A laugh and a half the first time; grounds for defamation of character (Lincoln's, that is) the second time around.

Early 1970s Matador fastback (AMC) - Looked like the child conceived within a 1960s Ford Torino after being raped by an Edsel. Rode like a kid's go-kart with no two wheels the same size.

Zil - The official car of the Soviet Politburo apparatchiks. Almost as ugly as their politics.

Lincoln Versailles - A Ford Grenada trying to be what the Chevrolet Cavalier thought it was being as a Cadillac Cimarron. And about as useless in the doing, too.

1960-63 Ford Falcon - I couldn't possibly top the description offered by a Ford engineer as quoted in Collier-Horowitz's historiography of the Ford family: "(Robert) McNamara wears granny glasses and he brings out a granny car." (McNamara was running the show at Ford and the Falcon was his pet car. It was also the anticipatory proof that what would come to be politically correct cars were usually long on gas mileague and short on anything else that made a car attractive to drive, ride, or see.) Trouble was, Granny could outrun the Falcon...with her walker!

Yugo - If only for making Le Car look stylish.

....just for openers...

[BluesDuke]

I don't know about the worst yet, but the ugliest 'thing' in the new millenium so far is the Pontiac Aztec.

That crate looks like a Ford Focus fathered a child with the old VW Thing and the child survived the mother's abortion attempt.

[vikzilla]

The AMC Gremlin, was particularly nasty, though I did like the logo of the gremlin. I can't get in the older generations to admit they drove one.

I'll admit it I drove one.

I bought it used for $1000. Over the next 18 months it was hit by drunk drivers 3 times. All while parked. Insurance company paid off as totaled all three times and then sold it back to for $100. Boy, I loved that car.

[BluesDuke]

Over the next 18 months it was hit by drunk drivers 3 times. All while parked.

I have heard that that was precisely how the drunk (had to be!) design engineers who designed (if that is the word) the Gremlin got the car to take that rear end shape in the first place!

[vikzilla]

, but the ugliest 'thing' in the new millenium so far is the Pontiac Aztec

Boy are you right about that! I saw one today and it looks like someone kicked it in the a$$.

[DB]

The list is suspect... No mention of Fiat... One of the crappest cars I've come into contact with...

[Buzzcook]

"I learned to drive on a Corvair Spider, a car that had a much undeserved bad rap.

You're absolutely right. It felt so solid and low to the ground people tried to drive it as if it was a sports car, which it wasn't. That's why they turned over. People were pretending they were driving Porsches. It also had terrific traction in snow (you didn't snow tires, let alone chains). There were no transmission humps. The foot room was great. On the bad side, it leaked oil. The rear grill was always getting knocked off. The fan belt kept coming off (it operated in two planes at right angles to each other). And the early models had gas heaters."


With all due respect the Corvair Spyder and the monza which I owned were marketed as sports type cars.
Though they weren't quite as bad as Nader made them out to be they did have serious defects. I can remember many times taking corners on two wheels at speeds less than 30 mph.The same corners and speeds that my parents Kingswood wagon took on all four tires. There was one benefit to those two wheel corners, because after ending up sitting in the passanger seat I have always used a seat belt. Because The exhaust system leaked like a sieve. It was
neccesary to leave the windows open year round. This wasn't as bad as it sounds because the heater stopped working as the ubiquitous chevy rust cycle had eaten that away. The car finally rusted off of its frame ending a love hate relationship that lasted through my senior year in high school.
The best thing about that car was the engine tranie match. for a rear engine car of that weight they were a perfect fit.
The bean counters that made them skimp on the (non)suspention should have been forced to attend every funeral money oney saving measure caused.

As for other cars i've had the Chevy Citation needs special notice. While it was under warrenty it was more often in the shop than on the road. The only good thing about it was it waited to die till i could buy a Mazda 323. That car went through it's first tranie before the warrenty was over,the second tranie waited till just after.

Buzzcook

[Mygirlsmom]

When the Hubs and I were first dating, he had this puke green Fiat--can't remember its name - I don't think it deserved one. It ran fine Mon-Thurs and promptly broke down every Friday eve. The clutch cable broke so often that he carried a spare - it became so routine he got it down to about a 15 min job, usually at about 2 in the morning in below zero weather somewhere along the 13 mile route between our houses. In summer it overheated very easily, so he rigged up this fan to cool the engine. Until he installed a switch for it, my job was to hold these two little wires together, which I did very gingerly, causing them to arc and spark. I can still hear him saying, "Hold them TOGETHER, not CLOSE to each other--TOGETHER!"

The worst of it was when it finally breathed its last, he went and bought ANOTHER one - same puke green! He figured he had learned how to repair everything that could ever go wrong, so why not? This one, I gave a new name to..it came to be called the "FIAB" for "Fix It Again, Bil!"

[The Raven]

I once arrived at an aiport Hertz counter very late and they told me "I'm sorry, we've run out of cars and the only thing we have for you is a Chevette"

I was a little tired and what I heard was "We've run out of cars and the only thing we have for you is a Corvette."

I was immediately pumped up and was almost dancing "You've got to be kidding....that would be wonderful." ...and started planning my back-road trip to the hotel.

Well -- they weren't kidding....they had sold out of cars.....the parking lot was empty....except for this one small compact in the middle of a lot of asphalt. It took me a while to find my car that night - even though there was only one! I kept thinking they'd garage the Vette, perhaps. It took a while for the light bulb to go off and when it did -- I began a lifelong resentment against Chevettes.

[spectr17]

Don't fret none, all them fine automobiles get put to use by hillbilly deerhunters. Just gotta remember if the winder is up or down.

[morjon]

Half the cars you mention, I'd give a left testicle for...any of the business coups, any Hudson or any Falcon V8.

[fporretto]

Conspicuous in their absence from this list are the cars inflicted on the subjects of the late, unlamented Soviet Union.

A friend who emigrated in 1986 tells me that Soviet citizens got most of their exercise from pushing their Moskvitch diesel sedans.

It might be significant that a substantial fraction of Soviet cars were made in a factory in Togliatti that was built by Fiat.

Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit The Palace Of Reason: http://palaceofreason.com

[al_c]

They say a picture says a thousand words ...