Posted on 07/22/2002 11:02:09 AM PDT by RepRivFarm
Midlands Voices: Who kidnapped my president?
BY DOUG PATTON
I finally figured it out. All this time, I thought President Bush was trying to outpace his father in broken campaign promises. With a steady stream of liberal ideas flowing from the White House with the presidential stamp of approval on them, I began to think Karl Rove had given up polling in favor of Hillary-style seances with Eleanor Roosevelt.
Then it hit me. The movie "Dave" starred Kevin Kline as a presidential look-alike recruited as a decoy because he bore an uncanny resemblance to the president. When the real president suddenly has a massive stroke, Dave is caught up in a fraud that fools even the first lady, for a while.
That's it. Someone has kidnapped the man we elected and replaced him with a dead ringer whose views are diametrically opposed to everything the real George W. Bush claimed to believe during the campaign.
For lack of a better name, we'll just call this wannabe president "Teddy."
Teddy has been busy promoting big government-as-nanny. The bloated farm bill and the intrusive education bill, like all other incursions into areas where the federal government does not belong, are doomed to failure. But the beauty of self-perpetuating government is that when a program fails, it is never said to be faulty, only under-funded.
Then there is our suicidal immigration policy. I know that protecting our borders was an area where the real Bush was soft from the beginning, even calling for amnesty for illegal aliens nearly a year ago. But post-Sept. 11? Surely not. It has to be Teddy.
Campaign finance reform? The real Bush (at least I think that was him) made a specific promise to veto such an unconstitutional monstrosity. Surely, the consequences of such a broken vow would be fresh in his mind.
Steel tariffs? The free-trader from Midland, Texas, would never have bought into that kind of big-union protectionism. Teddy, on the other hand, must love big labor.
Rewarding Yasser Arafat for his murderous ways by supporting the establishment of a Palestinian state could be dismissed as the influence of the always-squishy Colin Powell State Department. It could also be Teddy.
And what would the real Bush have had to gain by letting Powell go on MTV and tell teens to ignore the abstinence message in favor of "safe sex"? If Teddy is a Democrat, it has to be him.
Then there's the idea of the real Bush actually watching those MTV degenerates, "The Osbournes." Right. Teddy, on the other hand, must be an old Black Sabbath fan, judging by the way the "president" gushed over Ozzy at the White House correspondents' dinner.
As a liberal Democrat, Teddy is a big believer in the junk science of so-called global warming. Hence, the White House flip-flop on that issue.
Recently, a group of homosexuals seeking to change the definition of marriage for all Americans was welcomed at the White House and given an audience with Cabinet members and GOP congressional leaders. The Log Cabin Republicans were assured that their demands would be quietly met. Who is more likely to have perpetrated this insult on the grass roots of the GOP - Bible-believing family man Bush or liberal, anything-goes Teddy?
The president, we are told, plans to veto the bill passed by the House allowing pilots to carry handguns. You tell me: Would the man who signed legislation affirming the right of all law-abiding Texans to carry a concealed firearm have bought into that one?
In a recent speech, the president said the United States would never agree to be part of the International Criminal Court, and he demanded full immunity for all American military forces serving in U.N. peacekeeping missions. He went on to say the United States would begin withdrawing our troops from such missions if that immunity was not forthcoming.
I was so proud. A genuine affirmation of American sovereignty! Could it be that my theory was wrong? Or maybe I was right, but Bush had now awakened from his coma, hopping mad that so many stupid, liberal policies had been enacted in his name.
But, the next day, when the White House quietly reversed itself and said our troops will stay right where they are, susceptible to the whims of international opinion, I knew for certain that Teddy lives.
The writer, of Bellevue, has worked as a speechwriter and policy adviser for federal, state and local candidates and elected officials.
That was such a letdown. I remember the day
after the Republicans took over the Congress
for the first time in my memory. I felt like there
was freedom in the air. Within a week, David
Bonior had launched into his "no increase in
medicare is a cut in medicare" and the
Republicans ran for the cloak rooms. It was
almost as disgusting as seeing them dump
Newt Gingrich, but not quite.
As you stated, there is a clear line in the sand seperating the Ford Republicans from the Conservatives..
They want to blur this and they take it for granted.. And for me, their strategy will last till this November, then I am a comodity to be bought and sold.
Want my vote? Take a lesson from McDonalds and earn it.
Don't expect me to default to you simply because you are the "second crappiest" restrauant in town.
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