The Chicago Police injected (micro)chip/transmitter into my cheekbone (head) ...

Independent Media Center ^ | Mon May 13 '02 | Caroline Baird

[Thumper1960]

We visited Chicago a couple years ago. I was abducted and given an implant, too. Not in my cheekbone, mind you. But, the implant has made me very popular with the ladies. I have many times thanked the Chicago police for their wonderful gift. Buying trousers has been a problem, though. I hope that my implant never is taken from me. Sometimes, I hear noises at night and I clutch my implant in fear they will come and take it away. I need to join this lawsuit. If only to protect my implant that the good people in Chicago gave me.

[aruanan]

I am from Australia. They ask if I am French. I am pretty. My daughter is beautiful. The Chicago Police ( a police officer from District 11) injected (micro)chip/transmitter into my cheekbone (head) and other women in the building.

Obviously this person is from some strange part of Australia, unfamiliar with the rudiments of English.

[spectre]

Her problem is that the Chi Cops injected her with the "Retard" chip.

Too bad.

She should have asked for the "Conversational English" chip.

[HoustonCurmudgeon]

You think this is a joke, but I assure you this happens to a large number of people in Texas every year. They stumble around talking to themselves and yelling at the oddest times. They dress funny and many join the armed services where the end up as mess officers.

It is very sad that there are so many of them, we just refer to them as Aggies!

[boris]

I can see the fnords.

[zeaal]

Adjusting headgear ...

Oprah won't help, she may be the one who funded the microchip research and implantation. She has to have a head count of everyone that has been on the show and those who have not so she can get them on the show or in the audience. See?

[fnord]

wow, her story and mine ... she could be my twin sister
(except I am lucid and she is a nutcase).

[fnord]

hey now ...

[Nick Danger]

25 or 6 to 4

click

[thescourged1]

All your base......

[DBtoo]

Eeuuww!!!!

[meyer]

OH!

She's skitzo - I mean, she's good people...

[Don Myers]

"I lived in Chicago. Police gave me an implant. They do it for everyone. Now I can hear Cubs games. Without a radio. Or TV. God bless the Chicago police. This woman is lucky Her daughter is lucky. I am happy. Please tell this story to everyone."

You can listen to the Cubs, and you don't even need a radio? Perhaps, you could cite a phone number for us to call for our own secret decoder implant. It sounds like a good deal to me.

[Freedom4US]

No no no!

The tin-foil stuff is 'old hat'; what's needed for effective blocking of the eViL mInd KoNtRoL rAZe is the Faraday Cage, of pure 1/32nd's (no Metric!!!!!) Virgin Copper mesh, mined from Arizona and of such a fineness as to preclude any RF interference; aligned with magnetic north (not grid or "true" (Lies!!!) north) AAARRRRGGGGH... I must hide now, I've already Said Too Much...

[genefromjersey]

Too late ! Too late !

A hunting party of the dreaded Omnichronosaurs has zeroed in on your secret transmitter !

Recommend evasive manuevers at Warp Speed 7, and the implantation of homing devices in the closest bovine or ovine population.( That distracts the heck out of them ! )