Posted on 06/28/2002 12:34:11 PM PDT by mhking
Edited on 04/13/2004 2:07:55 AM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
BERGENFIELD, N.J. (AP) Three students who allegedly put a preserved pig's heart in their substitute teacher's coffee cup have been charged with assault.
The prank occurred June 13, when the male students two 16-year-olds and a 17-year-old allegedly put the heart in the cup during an English class. The teacher drank from the cup but did not consume the heart, authorities said.
(Excerpt) Read more at boston.com ...
Glad they clarified that.
They've gotta have the same coffee service as where I work.
It's a story about a chicken heart..."The Chicken Heart That Ate New York City."Our story begins in a lab...where there's a chicken heart...kept in a vat. Half water, half sodium solicilate. One day, a careless janitor knocked the vat over [smack, crash]... The janitor went to get something to clean it up. The chicken heart grew...[bump-bump] The janitor came back. The chicken heart ate him up...[bump-bump] It moved into the hall...[bump-bump] Rang for the elevator...[bump-bump] 4th Floor, aaaaahhhh!!!
[bump-bump]...It moved into the street...[bump-bump] Ate all the cabs...[bump-bump] [beep, beep--szzhwoop!--bump-bump]...The Empire STATE BUILDLING...[bump-bump] [bump-bump]... THE JERSEY TURNPIKE!!! [bump-bump] [bump-bump] [zwwwoop-burp]
It's in your home state... [bump-bump] [bump-bump] [bump-bump] ...It's OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR... [bump-bump] [bump-bump] [bump-bump] ...AND IT'S GOING TO EAT YOU UP!!!... [bump-bump] [bump-bump] [bump-bump] ...
OH, MAN! Get the Jello, start smearing it all over the floor! [bump-bump] [bump-bump] [bump-bump]
GET OUTTA HERE CHICKEN HEART! [bump-bump] [bump-bump] [bump-bump] I set the sofa on fire...YOU WON'T COME NEAR A SMOKIN' FIRE AND JELLO!!! [bump-bump] [bump-bump] [bump-bump]
My father came in--What th-[slip,BAM!] What the hell is the sofa doin' on fire!?
GET IN HERE QUICK, DAD BEFORE IT GETS YOU! OK...before what gets me??? THE CHICKEN HEART!!!! [bump-bump] [bump-bump] [bump-bump] You idiot, turn the radio off...
Oh.
I hadn't thought of that.
For the next five years, my father, whether he knew them or not, told everybody, "C'm'ere 'n look at my dumb kid...Go ahead, boy, tell'em how you burned up a $700 sofa and broke my leg on count of that [bump-bump] [bump-bump]"
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