Communicating Is A Lost Art: "Can You Hear Me Now?"

Toogood Reports ^ | June 26, 2002 | Debbie Daniel

[Stand Watch Listen]

I get so tickled every time I see a certain "wireless" commercial where the guy is trying to find a place inside a gymnasium to stand where he can be heard on his cell phone. He moves two or three steps this way or that and keeps repeating, "Can you hear me now?"

I have a dear friend that I tease relentlessly about not hearing a word I've said. She becomes mesmerized by something and you have to wait until she comes back to earth. I will speak to her, and then start making crazy body motions as if to bend this way or lean another and ask the question, "Can you hear me now?" It has actually become a joke and we've had a lot of fun with it, but there is so much truth to communication being a lost art.

What's really happened is that nobody "listens" anymore? Listening is an art form of its own. It takes patience to listen to another person, and it takes a lot of concentration and skill to really digest what another person is saying, especially if you have a lot on your mind. I'm sure that's why G-d gave us ONE mouth and TWO ears.

If you get a chance, take the time to listen to a real conversation between two people. Good conversation is masterfully done and it takes a lot of effort on each person's part. There must be a balance for it not to become a monologue, and if it does, the listener has gone beyond the call of duty. It's a skill that must be worked at and perfected.

How are we going to communicate if we don't learn how to listen? Children are not taught the art of communication anymore. Parents don't sit down and eat meals with them and have conversation that is both stimulating and enlightening. Rather, they are allowed to eat their meals in front of the television, and if you dare ask a question, they look at you with a "mind-numbed" stare for about five seconds and then back at the TV again. Some adults try to have conversations with their teenagers while the teen walks around the house listening to music through headphones and doesn't hear a word they say.

When children try talking to their parents, the adults are so preoccupied with other things that they barely give an "uh-huh" to the comments. So, it goes both ways and the art of communication is once again compromised to the lowest level.

Children watch their parents interact verbally with one another and many times it's the same thing. There's no real conversation. A husband and wife can become distant because they no longer talk to each other. They give directives to one another and do the same with the kids. That's not communication -- that's taking orders from a commanding officer.

This pattern of behavior is evidenced in the workplace. Businesses depend on it or deals can be broken if information is not conveyed clearly.

I work for a communication's company and one of the biggest problems is our own internal communication with each other.

Watch how people communicate with each other. Many times employees are asking questions but don't really listen to the answer because they've never learned how to have a two way communique. I've had people come back and ask me the same question again because they didn't LISTEN the first time.

Relationships thrive on good communication. We don't "pen" letters anymore and express ourselves. Even our e-mails are mostly "forwards" from friends. There's nothing wrong with receiving a forwarded message, but it's a short-cut for most folks who don't have the time to write a missive from their own heart.

A young couple in love probably "communicates" better than anyone, but it is usually short lived. When the courting process is over, there no longer seems to be the need to send those cards and letters which mean so much.

Communicating your thoughts to another human being is special; it is a gift that can never be given in any other form. Many couples feel that they don't have to keep saying "I love you" -- the other person should know without having to verbalize it.

Many of our senior citizens long to sit down and have a lengthy conversation with someone, but many of us don't realize their need or don't take the time to do so. Children use to sit at the feet of older people and listen to stories for hours of days gone by, but again this is a vanishing art form that may never be part of our lives again. There's an African Proverb that says, "When an old man dies, a library burns down." We can learn so much from our "seasoned" citizens, but we allow our lives to be filled with things that don't permit us to communicate with them anymore.

One day I hope we will see what we've lost, but I'm afraid it will be too late. We're learning to live our lives in the "fast lane" and don't take the time to realize what we're giving up when we "hurry our way" through life.

Real communication is becoming a dying ember . . . "Can you hear me now?"

"No, I can't hear you anymore. I don't even feel your presence."

[Phantom Lord]

I get so tickled every time I see a certain "wireless" commercial where the guy is trying to find a place inside a gymnasium to stand where he can be heard on his cell phone. He moves two or three steps this way or that and keeps repeating, "Can you hear me now?"

I stopped reading after the opening paragraph. The writer totally missed the point of these commercials. The point is that you can be heard ANYWHERE you are with their phone.

If he missed the simple and straight forward point of these commercials and got it totally wrong, how much of the rest will be right?

[EternalVigilance]

Huh?? Did you say something??

(Just kidding..)

[elephantlips]

Too bad, you missed a good article.

[Zon]

I thought the same thing, yet I often give people the benefit of the doubt so as to hear the rest of what they have to say. I think the author knew he was inverting the premise. IMO, that is a sign of a weak mind. Looking to tap into something (the commercial in this instance) to connect with people via something they are familiar with is good, but to intentionally distort reality in doing so is irrational and reflects poorly on the author or speaker.

Use of analogies and metaphors are good, indispensable in fact. However when they are intentionally inverted the person doing so can usually be discounted because other errors are almost certain to follow. Thus is the case in this article. [My below comments were written prior to reading your post.]

He moves two or three steps this way or that and keeps repeating, "Can you hear me now?"

The often repeated commercial I see is a guy getting reception at every location three steps from the last, asking the question, "can you hear me now". It's a Verizon commercial. And opposite of the commercial the author has seen, which I have never seen that one.

[Gaston]

Yes, I think the author should have used the "I said shampoo and he heard Shamoo" ad or the "I asked her to get soup at the store and she heard soap opera star" ad instead. Maybe she (being the great communicator she is) doesn't watch much TV and got the two confused. My best guess though is that she thought the "Can you hear me now" slogan best fit her article.

[Mr. Thorne]

Yes indeed. Ironic, isn't it, given the title of the article?

[buffyt]

My FAVORITE commercial is the one where the wife brought home the Soap Opera Star instead of soup from the store. He is by the window, no shirt, all sultry. She is grinning at him from the sofa. I LOVE THAT ONE! cracks me up every time! My kids all yell, MOM YOUR COMMERCIAL IS ON!

I have noticed that people on cell phones tend to talk loud. Maybe we shouldn't talk on them in restaurants?????