Posted on 06/24/2002 7:09:30 AM PDT by Sir Gawain
In anticipation of large-scale terrorist attacks on US, British and Indian soil almost certain to happen between now and 4 July, airports, "intelligence" agencies, multi-national corporations and the like are gearing-up their public relations departments.
The expected onslaught of public apology, grieving, and denial of culpability as soon as the next round of attacks have commenced have already been the subject of over 5,000 Powerpoint presentations.
Members of the uninformed media and experts in the fields of terrorism, bio-terrorism, nuclear weapons and intelligence failures are also said to be in intensive preparations for what is sure to be an exciting post-summer-terrorism publicity season.
Heathrow (London), Kennedy (New York), Logan (Boston) and Indira Gandhi International (New Delhi) airports have set space aside for press conferences, and in many cases members of the news media have already taken their seats. Other airports at large cities throughout the US and Europe are making similar pre-post-attack plans.
In Washington, President Dubya is said to be receiving special coaching on how to pronounce the words "nuclear", "strategize", "aforminational" and "extemporanealizationism". Attorney General John Ashcroft recently detailed a report concerning the several obvious clues to the terrorist's imminent plans which the FBI is presently ignoring. The report is due to be released 5 July.
Corporate interests are active in the pre-terrorism preparations as well. Concerns such as Airbus, Honeywell, Raytheon, Microsoft and McDonald's International are said to be preparing press releases for several likely scenarios involving the use of their products in acts of terrorism. Should a "filthy bomb" containing traces of a Big Mac and placed on a recently-fueled Airbus A-340 which is then crashed into a Windows NT Server Tower using sophisticated military electronics — large corporations are prepared with ready-made, focus-group tested press releases at a moment's notice.
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