Object-Oriented number crunching.
*snicker* Do you even program or are you just in marketing?
For example, when I was building a report on Employee's projected availability, I built an employee object and populated that object with references to the relevant dept objects, manager object, etc.
If you were to build that report in a stored proc, you don't have that option. And the resulting spaghetti SQL is a mess. And the DB has to try and simulate all those relationships in temporary tables, which is sloooooow.
Is this really news to you?