[My Identity]

The DC police report that private parties searching the area found several human bones, blood-stained clothes, an abandoned automobile, six hand-guns, a knife, two assault rifles, a box cutter, a wallet, a used condom, an address book, an envelope of anthrax, Levy's ring and keys, photos, a videotape, a signed confession, and other seemingly important items. However, the police indicated that "these are not clues at this time".

In a formal statement to the media, the police said: "Oops! Guess we missed a few things when we were searching the area the first couple times for, uh... what was her name again?"

Congressman Gary Condit (D-CA) was also seen in the park yesterday. He was jumping up and down and waving his hands frantically while shouting "over here, I did it, I did it." Eventually he was asked to leave the area by police community-service personnel. In a televised interview, a police spokesman said, "Mr. Condit, who is not a suspect at this time, was attracting a lot of media attention. He was asked to exit the area for his own personal safety. Besides, we can't waste our time babysitting media celebrity has-beens when we're looking for donuts uh, a killer."

[Michael Barnes]

that about sums it all up....Although it's a parody, it hits the mark true..