Man blames arrest on slip of the 'Hon'

Baltimore Sun | 6-6-02 | Dennis O'Brien

[Temple Owl]

Suit against state police says he was unfairly held after traffic stop near O.C.

A 44-year-old systems analyst from Arbutus has filed a $500,000 lawsuit against Maryland State Police alleging that he was wrongfully arrested during a traffic stop near Ocean City because he called a female trooper "Hon."

"She was offended because I used the word 'Hon' and she thought I was degrading her," Frank J. Iula Jr. said yesterday. "I didn't mean to be demeaning. 'Hon' is a normal word, a pleasantry."

[Temple Owl]

I can think of other things to call her.

[Semper Paratus]

Should have called her Hun.

[Orual]

I wonder what is worse - calling a female officer, "Hon", or calling her, "Sir", as I did in total innocence. She gave me the ticket for doing 45 MPH in a 40 mile zone on an almost empty highway on Christmas Day in North Carolina. But I guess my NY license plates were reason enough for the ticket.

[Minnesoootan]

People of these United States of America need to learn,hands on the steering wheel until you are told you can move(but do NOT unfasten your seatbelt,unless you want to be shot in the face),give vehicle registration,license info and insurance papers and then say NOTHING AT ALL!

Demand an attorney be present if they persist.Otherwise keep your mouth shut,it's your best defense.

[DWSUWF]

These kinds of incidents are red flags for police departments that the 'officer' in question is utterly unfit to be in a position of authority over anything other than a burger spatula or toilet plunger.

I wish Iula the best of luck in the lawsuit, and hope that Kelly ultimately finds her hysterical rump shunted into something appropriately menial.

[onedoug]

Obviously, exceeding the posted speed limit was reason enough.

[BADJOE]

Not being one who remenmbers names well, I many years ago resorted to calling all the girls "Honey" and all the guys "Partner"

I was once repremanded for calling a Miami police officer "pardner". My western drawl got me out of trouble.

Recently a girl up at the local Ford dealership gave me hell for calling her "honey", I immediately started refering to her as " Mam". At the end of our conversation, I asked her if she'd rather I call her "honey" or "mam". She said " Given the choice, I should go ahead and call her "HONEY" : )

[kaboom]

Austin, 32, a six-year veteran assigned to the Berlin barracks, stopped Iula's Chevy Malibu about 9:40 a.m. when her radar gun clocked it at 78 mph in a 55-mph zone,

In other words, he was holding up traffic.

[Lazamataz]

He had a smirk while he handed me his license and registration."

In zee United Ztatez uf Amerika, it iz VERBOTEN to make facial exprezzionz during interrogation! YOU VILL BE KILLED FOR YOUR IMPERTINANCE!

[Nonstatist]

Anyone who pretends to be a police officer in the State of Maryland should have immediate knowledge of the following, no excuses allowed..

.........

The Merlin (Maryland) Dialect is spoken by a mixed population which inhabits a triangular area on the western littoral of the Chesapeake Bay, bounded roughly by a line commencing at Towson's Toyota, then westward to the Frederick Mall, thence following the western border of the cable TV franchise and the string of McDonalds' along Route 50 to the Bay. .Speakers of Merlin Dialect are all able to understand standard English from babyhood, chiefly because of their voracious appetite for television. However, they invariably refuse to speak standard English, even with outsiders who obviously are not understanding a word they say.

.......

Lesson 1... Vocabulary

Ballmer - Our city
Merlin - Our State
Arn - What you do to wrinkled clothes
Bulled Egg - An egg cooked in water
Jeet - How we say "Did you eat"?
Chest Peak - A large nearby body of water
Colleyflare - A white vegetable
Downey Owe Shin - Summertime destination "Down to the ocean" (such as Ayshun City)
Droodle Pork - Druid Hill Park
Faren Gins - Red trucks that put out fires
Hi Hon - How we always say "hello"
Holluntown - Highland Town
Meedjum - The grassy area between lanes of a highway
Nap Lis - State of Merlin capital
Ole Bay - What our crabs taste like
Oreos - Not a cookie, but our baseball team
Payment - That strip of cement that you walk on
PohLeese - Those guys in uniform that git ya when you're speeding
Share - Hot water that cleans you in the morning
Flares - Such as tulips
Tarred - What happens when you work too hard
Warsh - What we do with dirty clothes
Warter - What we drink (can also be Wooter)
Winders - Those glass things that we look out of
Paramore - Power mower
Brawl - Broil
Sem elem - Seven Eleven
Allanic - an ocean
Arnjuice - from the sunshine tree
Arouwn in all directions - norf, souf, ees, and wess
Aspern - what you take for headaches
Bald - some people like their eggs this way
Bawler - what the plumber calls your furnace
Beeno - a famous railroad
Calf Lick - bleevers are Protestant, Jewish, and ...
Canny - a state gubmit division, such as Anne Arundel or Prince George's
Zink - the place where you wash dishes

[Orual]

Obviously, exceeding the posted speed limit was reason enough.

Yes, five miles over the limit on an almost deserted highway is probably a crime punishable by death in North Carolina, but I think under the circumstances had I not addressed her as "Sir" she may have given me a warning as a Christmas present.

[Temple Owl]

I wish Iula the best of luck in the lawsuit, and hope that Kelly ultimately finds her hysterical rump shunted into something appropriately menial.

I wish lula the best of luck too, But $500,000 out of the pockets of Maryland taxpayers seems a bit drastic. Let's give him a dollar and give Kelly a job where she will not be offended by people telling her to have a nice day.

[Ajnin]

What about Peetzer? Ohterwise known as pizza.

[DWSUWF]

"...I wish lula the best of luck too, But $500,000 out of the pockets of Maryland taxpayers seems a bit drastic. Let's give him a dollar and give Kelly a job where she will not be offended by people telling her to have a nice day..."

I understand your concern for the taxpayers, but I still hope he collects.

And then I hope those taxpayers go on the warpath and see to it that their house is put in order.

Can't agree about Kelly at all though. For her I wish a LONG future, filled with every sort of humiliation and degradation at the (roaming) hands of people crude enough to make it really sting and clever enough to consistently get away with it.

[johnny7]

The guy made a couple of mistakes.

Call them officer, not “hun”.

Stay in your vehicle unless asked to come out.

Don't yell at them.

They don't know who the hell you are when they pull you over.

Trust me... when they put those steel cuffs on you an stuff you into that back seat,

it's so cramped you have to sit hunched over sideways.

Once in the holding cell, they tell you to take off your shoes... they don't want a hanging.

Then they pat you down real good again.

Very humiliating and something to avoid.

[blam]

We were at the University Of Texas (Austin) some years ago interviewing 'soon to graduate' job applicants for a large Texas electronics manufacturer (ahem), one of the interviewers called a female applicant 'hon'. Cost us $50,000! (The interviewer (male) did not call the male applicants 'hon.')

[Cicero5]

yeah hon...I growed up er in bawlemer too. i don't know wadda big deal is wit dis lady cop!

[xsmommy]

dubs, i have always thought that a merlin accent was similar to the jagoffs in picksburgh, what ja think?

[CollegeRepublican]

The problem with this guy is that he is an idiot. Anyone in Merlin goin' down'de shoree knows where the speed traps are. The Berlin polic barracks almost always have a speed trap set up during the summer months. I travel from Annapolis to Ocean City every week to go surfing and believe me, I speed, but I know when to kick it down to 60 mph. Their speed traps are like clock work, always in the same place.

BTW, I always found it amusing when my friends in college could not understand me when I asked for wadder (H2O) or when I was going to Warshinton (DC).

[onedoug]

Well, I gotta admit, I'd try and quibble my way out of the death penalty too, under such circumstances.
How awful to have suffered so. Enjoy your last meal.