These Do-Gooders Have The Best Of Intentions But Are Foiled Once Again!

ST. PETERSBURG - Homeless advocates, city representatives and police handed out 30 duffel bags with wheels and handles to homeless people Monday to deter them from taking shopping carts off store property.

The homeless had to hand over a shopping cart to get a bag in which to put their possessions, said Steve Kersker, co-chairman of the city's homeless task force.

``This way it allows people to take the bus with their duffel bag rather than pushing a shopping cart 50 to 75 blocks'' to get from one social service agency to the next, Kersker said.

It may take some understanding to make the program work, Kersker said. Recently he gave a homeless woman a duffel bag with wheels. He saw her Monday with the bag - in a shopping cart.

In Washington, D.C. the grocery stores have little barricades set up by the doors so you can't move the shopping carts off the porch. You have to go get your car and drive up to the door to collect your groceries, that is, if some idiot hasn't decided to park in the pickup lane. But even that wasn't enough for the Safeway on Capitol Hill, fondly referred to as the Soviet Safeway because they're always out of things such as milk. Anyway, that store bought a bunch of shopping carts equipped with a special wheel that would freeze up, making it impossible to move if it passed over a specially painted yellow line at the perimeters of the parking lot. For a while the yellow line was littered with disabled carts. It looked like someone had set up a cordon of shopping carts to keep pedestrians out of the parking lot. Then our clever street people/parasites figured out how to disable the anti-theft wheels and now, once again, it is almost impossible to obtain a shopping cart there on some days. Capitol Hill remains decorated with random shopping carts abandoned by thieves, while entire armies of fragrant street people push around other pilfered carts. It is disgusting.

OK, OK. Now I see the basics.

!. Get the People to approve a "small amount of money for Bags on Wheels."

2. Expand program to provide training to teach them what the wheels were intended for in the first place.

3. Give more money to conduct a study of why homeless people burn those wheels in the winter.

4. Expand the program and give more money to modify the wheels to fire proof status.

5. Provide funding for a Federal Study to determine why Homeless people take the bus in the first place.

6. Give more money to provide cars for the homeless to maintain their diginity (riding public transportation lowers their self esteem).

7. INSERT ANYTHING YU WANT FROM HERE ON........

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