Red tape behind the plate

SportingNews.com ^ | 05/20/02 | Dave Kindred

[What Is Ain't]

The state of Illinois has put down an outbreak of illegal sports activity in the southwest Chicago suburb of Darien. Agents of the law in Illinois once were concerned with Al Capone, Bugs Moran, Machine Gun Jack McGurn and John Dillinger. Now the protectors of truth, justice and the American way have descended on Darien. They've found 108 violations of state law, each and every one connected with baseball.

Is it about gambling? No.

Maybe it's about game-fixing? No.

If not those scandals, how about androstenedione? No.

What's happening in Darien, if tried by a hanging judge, could cost the miscreants $540,000 in fines.

It's about umpires.

Are these umpires the lyin', cheatin', thievin', purblind and incompetent kind? No.

Are the umpires in debt to wiseguys who'd kneecap 'em? No.

Is it about umps not old enough to shave? "Yep."

So says Brian Glennon. He's 12. He's a sixth-grader at Darien's Our Lady of Peace elementary school. He went through a clinic last winter to be certified for umpiring work in this spring's Darien Youth Club leagues.

He planned to squirrel away his $10 per game to buy what his mother, Catherine, calls "a fancy-dancy bat costing $120."

But before he could start work, the Illinois Department of Labor received an anonymous complaint charging Darien with violations of child-labor laws. With few exceptions, no one under 14 can work for pay.

Soon enough came word that Brian Glennon and his fellow umpires could not be paid. The Chicago Tribune reported that the department of labor notified Darien Youth Club officials of the 108 violations, "including failure to keep a registry of minor employees and their schedules and for not keeping employment certificates."

Oh, please.

We're not talking the forced labor of greasy-faced urchins. These aren't raggedy orphans chained to sewing machines 16 hours for 80 cents a day making sneakers and dresses for basketball gods and television stars.

Just try to exploit Brian Glennon. His mother would come after you with a fancy-dancy bat costing $120.

"There are 40 bats in our garage," says Catherine Glennon, whose five children play on eight baseball and softball teams in maybe 200 games each year. "But I'd told Brian he could umpire if he saved his money to buy something he wanted. And he really wants that special bat."

The mother believes in kids umpiring. "It teaches them responsibility, people skills, how to control things, how to stand up for what's right and wrong. ... This whole issue is ridiculous."

Asked if he agreed, Brian Glennon says, "Yep."

The young man also is a player. In the first four games for the Cardinals and Darien Demons this spring, he says, "I struck out only one time." His batting average: .450. Perhaps because Interstate 55 virtually connects Darien to Comiskey Park 15 miles away, or perhaps because his parents, Tom and Catherine, grew up playing sandlot ball on Chicago's South Side near old Comiskey, Brian is a White Sox fan.

His favorite Sox player? "Ray Durham."

Is Brian, like Durham, a second baseman? "Yep. And shortstop."

Bright as sunrise, Brian Glennon admits the $10 per game was incentive. But he thinks the money is only one of the good things. "You get a different point of view of a game. You see it's not always the umpire's fault."

Anybody argue with him? "Nope."

While the kid umpires worked as volunteers, parents associated with the Darien league began a grassroots political campaign to get the child-labor laws amended. Petitions reached 24th District state senator Christine Radogno, who responded immediately with legislation now approved by the Illionois Senate and awaiting action by the House of Representatives.

"There have been other issues like this with child-labor laws," Radogno says. "But they've never gone anywhere, partly because labor unions were opposed out of the possibility that adults would lose jobs to children. The difference came from the parents in Darien. They did such a good job of getting public support."

Radogno's press secretary, Travis Akin, says the labor department reported "108 violations with a maximum fine of $5,000 each ($540,000 possible) or a minimum of waived." The senator says any fine is "highly, highly unlikely."

She calls her legislation "a no-brainer." It would amend the child-labor law by declaring, "Nothing in this Act prohibits a minor who is 12 or 13 years of age from officiating youth sports activities for a not-for-profit youth club, park district, or municipal parks and recreation department ... "

Now, if the Illinois House does the right thing, and Radogno believes it will "if the parents keep up the pressure," we will have witnessed an event fervently wished for at all levels of baseball today, particularly at the Bud Selig/Don Fehr level.

We will have seen the triumph of common sense.

Stranger things have happened, but not often. So we root for young Brian Glennon. May he again be gainfully employed because at $10 per game it'll take awhile to rack up that $120.

When he has the money, what kind of fancy-dancy bat will he buy?

"TPX Laser, big barrel, a minus-8 drop, pretty light."

Sounds dynamite.

"Yep."

[What Is Ain't]

Hang 'em high.

[Tom D.]

Don't you realize that these laws are for the chilllllddddrreeenn? We must protect them from their greedy parents (who are probably Republicans). Leave it to the government to look after kids. If it is the government of Florida, they'll probably loose the kid and lie about it for a year; if the kid is really lucky, and its the Federal Government, they'll send them to Cuba at the point of a gun.

[moyden]

Every liberal is a thug.

[Principled]

I wonder what "crime" these dolts will be investigating when the next thousand Americans die at the hands of terrorists.