[monday]

"I wasn't aware that you could have a relationship with either one."

Call it whatever you like. They are both substitutes for the real thing. You prefer your hand, I prefer women. We have a difference of opnion.

[Just another Joe]

They are both substitutes for the real thing.

And that's the thing in a nutshell right there.
I would rather wait for the real thing than accept ANY substitute.