The secrets of teleporters, revealed!
(We need them because at 1.6 billion Chinese, China will explode, because everyone will live forever now)
Laz. Honey. When was the last time you saw your "special" doctor? What in heavens name were you looking for? Let's take a wild guess and say they are feeding those people funny brownies. Maybe Poppy breakfact cereal. Or he just overdosed on Star Trek.