Entire Nation of Israel Converts to Catholicism

BSNN.NET ^ | 04/23/2002 | Lazamataz

[Texaggie79]

In a related note young boys where seen fleeing from Israel

[GovernmentShrinker]

I'm not an expert on this esoteric area of history, but there is quite a lot of scholarship on it that has nothing to do with "Holocaust deniers". Of course Holocaust deniers will latch onto any scrap of real or fabricated information to support their bizarre story. To a rational person, the Khazar issue doesn't have a lot of bearing on the need for a Jewish homeland -- the Nazis didn't show any interest in who was or wasn't descended from the Khazars when they herded everyone they regarded as a Jew into the death camps (nor have any other purveyors of blatant anti-Semitism made any distinction -- they can't have it both ways: hating people because they're Jews, while simultaneously claiming they actually aren't Jews). The history of persecution and slaughter of Jews is the main bond that the Khazar-descended Jews (however many there really are) have with the Jewish people, and it is not an insignificant bond.

[Lazamataz]

ribtickle

[facedown]

Domini, Domini, Domini...you're all Catholics now!

[patriot_wes]

When I saw the heading I wasn't sure if this was from BSNN or that other funny story place - MOMI !!!

( Millitary Office of Mis-Information)

[M. Thatcher]

Hilarious!

[Howlin]

I'm on a roll lately.

That could very well be the understatement of the century. You're beginning to scare me. You're not around small children a lot, are you? :-)

[malakhi]

If the Khazar people converted en masse to Judaism, and if they form the larger body of Ashenazim (which I seriously doubt), the fact remains that they would have intermarried with other Jews over the past thousand years to the the point that their descendants would clearly be Jewish by blood.

You fail to account for the historical record of Jewish migration into Europe. The Khazars would have come from the east. But the records show the movement of Jewish settlement in Europe from the south into western and central Europe, and from thence eastward.

[Howlin]

Not until later in the afternoon when Yassir Arafat announced that all Palestinians were becoming Presbyterians.

Hey, now, we've been thrown out of better countries than Israel!

[Gumlegs]

Does this mean the gay Jews will have to convert, too? - oy vey, indeed... ;-)

Somebody's got to be the priests.

[Lazamataz]

Gefilte fish fry.

[Campion]

Alex Plotzker, of the news organization Ha'aretz, said in a commentary Monday night: "This brilliant move by our government will certainly lower our profile in the Islamic world. And now that we are no longer Jews, there is not so much reason to hate our freakin' guts, is this not true?"

Quick, somebody buy Alex a good textbook of medieval European history and have him read up on: the Crusades, El Cid, Charles Martel, Jan Sobieski, and the battle of Lepanto. He's jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

[Lazamataz]

Quick, somebody buy Alex a good textbook of medieval European history and have him read up on: the Crusades, El Cid, Charles Martel, Jan Sobieski, and the battle of Lepanto. He's jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

So you are saying not even this conversion will satisfy the Palestinians??

Okay, Israel agrees to become a homogenous Muslim country.

Will *this* appease them?

[malakhi]

Gefilte fish fry.

Ugh. That sounds awful!

[harpseal]

Then the Pali's would call the Israelis Jew Cheistian Crusaders and intensify their bombing campaign.

Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown

[Campion]

Well, if all the Israelis became Muslims they'd be part of the ummah, the dar-el-Islam. The Palis would still try to kill them, but the rest of the Muslim world would look the other way instead of actively supporting the Palis.

Still sounds like "paying retail" to me ...

[Young Werther]

Not so fast. Now the Ay Rabs will insist that this a thinly disguised Fifth Crusade to "free the Holy Land. Now Atta Trucking will employ truck bombs and weapons of crass destruction to fight off the Infidels!

Could they just convert to Lutheranism? (Sorry Pastor!)

[sistergoldenhair]

Love it.

[TomB]

Canada is next

I hear that in retaliation, all Canadian are becoming Druids.

What will Jethro say? :)