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FDA REVISES ACCUTANE LABEL TO INCLUDE SPECIAL TALIBAN WARNING!
Iconcoclast.ca (Satirical News section) ^ | April 21/2002 | The Iconoclast

Posted on 04/21/2002 6:34:34 PM PDT by Apolitical

FDA REVISES ACCUTANE LABEL TO INCLUDE SPECIAL TALIBAN WARNING...

The potent acne drug will now contain inserts warning patients about the possible links to sudden burqa-wearing, increased sensitivity to Allah, and flying planes into tall buildings!

BETHESDA (Maryland) The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has ordered Hoffman-LaRoche, the makers of Accutane, to revise the acne drug's label to include a stronger warning about the possibility of Taliban-related side effects from using the drug.

The move came Friday in the wake of a law suit charging that Charles Bishop, the Florida teenager who flew a plane into a Tampa skyscraper, had a prescription for Accutane at his home and that the acne drug was likely responsible for his erratic behavior.

Although Bishop's case was the first instance of an Accutane patient crashing a plane into a skyscraper, the FDA has had several reports of Accutane patients behaving erratically and showing sympathy for the Taliban.

"We have been aware for some time now that people using Accutane have a much higher incidence of wearing burqas and growing long beards than the general population," said Kyle Hammond, M.D., head of the FDA Division of Dermatological and Dental Drugs. "We didn't think it was a problem until we realized that some of them were starting to write Osama love sonnets and blow up their shoes. Then, we had to act."

Hoffman-LaRoche company spokespeople say they are disappointed by the decision to add the warning to their product.

They claim there is no conclusive evidence that the drug causes Talibanism or even the urge to ban movies and television.

"Before rushing to condemn Accutane, the FDA should approach the problem scientifically," said Mr. Louis Mills, Hoffman-LaRoche company spokesman. "Just because one pizza-face nut case decides to slam a plane into the Bank of America doesn't mean there's something wrong with the drug he was taking."

Still, critics say it's hard to ignore the correlation between Accutane use and a vehement opposition to women working, which appears to be common.

Dermatologists who prescribe Accutane have also become concerned by the number of their female patients who fail to appear for follow-up appointments after starting a course of the drug.

"It's frustrating," explains dermatologist James Meed, M.D. "Once these women start taking Accutane, their skin starts to clear up, but at the same time they decide that as women they shouldn't have access to health care, so they stop coming."

A Congressional investigation into the drug's side effects is scheduled for this summer.

In the mean time, the revised FDA labeling will appear on product packaging beginning in March.

Marni Soupcoff


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: accutane; lawsuit; taliban
Yikes!
1 posted on 04/21/2002 6:34:34 PM PDT by Apolitical
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To: All
My sister and I were both on Accutane during our teens. It does cause mood swings, but it didn't make us suicidal. On the plus side; we both permanently avoided getting the heavy acme scarring that our dad has.
2 posted on 04/21/2002 7:17:48 PM PDT by Jason Kauppinen
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