Me, too.
Maybe it will help younger (or more recent) widows to know this, and to be patient. Being confused and misled and used is unfortunately part of the experience. Widows mustn't let themselves be rushed into major decisions, even by "trusted family friends" who happen to be available men.
For many months - 12-36 - they are going through a transition comparable to adolescence but with far more responsibilities. Other people cannot understand. As much as I don't like the touchy-feelyness of the concept, I do think support groups of other widows can be strengthening. I didn't look for one. I was skeptical of strangers, and not skeptical of a "trusted family friend," and learned the very hard way that my vulnerability was a magnet to predators who I never would have suspected based on my experiences when I wasn't at such a disadvantage. I thank God that He intervened and I did not remarry that first year.