Laura Mardovich, who lost former husband Ed on Sept. 11, gets married to family friend Robert Balemian at St. Patrick's Church in Huntington, L.I. - N.Y. Post: Mary McLoughlin Posted on 04/14/2002 1:03:20 AM PDT by alisasny
9/11 WIDOW REMARRIES
| Laura Mardovich, who lost former husband Ed on Sept. 11, gets married to family friend Robert Balemian at St. Patrick's Church in Huntington, L.I. - N.Y. Post: Mary McLoughlin |
Wearing white and beaming broadly, Laura Mardovich married family friend Robert Balemian Friday.
People exchange their wedding vows every day, but what is unusual about this marriage is that Laura is a Sept. 11 widow - perhaps the first to remarry.
The priest who pronounced Laura and Robert man and wife saw their union as an uplifting sign for a parish that lost 18 people in the terrorist attacks - a sign that Laura is moving on with her life.
But to some friends and relatives, seven months is a short time to grieve - and they are stunned by the marriage.
Their feelings are all the more intense because Laura, 41, and her first husband, Ed Mardovich, 42, had what by all accounts was a storybook union.
He was the president of the securities division of Euro Brokers, a thriving investment firm, and the couple and their four children lived in tony Lloyd Harbor on Long Island's North Shore.
"They were a dream couple with beautiful children," said Robert Nogrady, a longtime friend.
The night before the attacks, Laura and Ed celebrated their 16th anniversary at Alain Ducasse, the exclusive Manhattan restaurant.
Afterward, Laura recalled that for the first time she could remember, Ed seemed satisfied with his life.
"Nothing compares to that night we had," she said. "He just had that look, like, ‘Maybe I am kind of special.' We said we would remember that night when we're 80 years old."
But it was not to be.
The next morning Ed went to his office on the 84th floor of the south tower of the World Trade Center. When the first hijacked plane ripped into the WTC's north tower, Ed called Laura on his cell phone to say he was safe.
He never came home - one of 60 Euro Brokers employees to die on Sept. 11.
After Ed's death, Laura changed.
"You could tell she was moving on," Nogrady said.
She closed out the family's brokerage account without saying goodbye to Nogrady, who handled it.
"I was a little hurt," he said.
She didn't return calls from relatives, who interpreted this as meaning she didn't want reminders of the past.
And she began seeing Balemian, a family friend and a widower with a child.
The couple got married at St. Patrick's Church in Huntington and toasted their union at a reception at the Waldorf-Astoria. They left on their honeymoon yesterday.
The Rev. Steve Berbig, who performed the marriage ceremony, said it is common for widows and widowers to remarry quickly because they are used to being married.
"Widows remarrying is routine - but this was a little more special. It was uplifting and positive for everyone around.
"There was an understood silence of what happened before," but the wedding's focus was "the present and now," Berbig said.
"As a priest, I was so happy for this couple. It was a great personal experience for me. People were very happy for them."
One relative, however, was anything but happy. "I don't understand," she said. "I can see her wanting to go on with her life. I always wanted her to remarry, but I never thought she would do it this way."
I wish them the best of luck, both of them have had such terrible loses and now can be happy and start over. Many don't get such a chance.
The nosey relatives should but out. They should be happy that this is a family.
If these two weren't having an affair before her husband's death, I'll eat my hat.
Closing out bank accounts and other finances after a spouses death is wise and prudent if you have the mind to do it. Banks used to and some I say still do freeze accounts upon deaths. As for the time frame? Who are they to determine anyones elses grieving times? If she had waited 10 years someone would have had still an issue about it. I waited 6 months myself.
Being alone after a death of a spouse is indeed alone even being among family. Would you like some ketchup with that hat? I was lucky I started working at a new job when I met my present wife. No I would have never cheated on my first either. Strange as it seems some people who pray for a widower or widows happiness and comfort then are taking back when the prayer is answered.
When my beloved Boxer, Tyson, got killed a couple of years ago, it took longer than seven months to get over!
Really? Hows that? Ever been there? Be thankfull it wasn't you. I never considered my second wife a replacement for my first one. Six months was soon and quicker than either me or her would have liked. We were going to wait a year. She had been through a bad abusive marriage and I was recovering from my loss when we met.
The only thing close to losing your spouse is to nearly loose your new found love to death as well.
Who puts persons together. Is it a devine gift? I think so in many cases. My second marriage by all odds should not have worked out. She is 7 years older, had two kids, became a quadriplegic while we dated, would require assistance for the rest of her life, had been an abused spouse.
I was in need of some growing up, needed to become more responsible, became an instand dad, and was spending my off hours at the hospital. New Puppy? No I wouldn't call it that. Our decessions were made in prayer and in counceling. Anyone can pray for comfort and easing of sorrows. But if GOD gives you his answer are you willing to except it?
Nearly 17 years ago my little world was torn apart and shaken to the core of my being. Then it got worse before it got better. My judgement was called into question as well. One night changed it all forever. One comforting assuring answer from the LORD himself said It was going to be OK. Then it was up to me to act in faith. That included starting over in a new marriage sooner rather than later.
It's OK. She wasn't healed and now I am as well disabled. It's OK. No one is promised a life without adversity. And adversity is a refining fire that tempers the soul. I would not undo what is done and I would do it again. For that I have no regrets. Had I listened to naysayers and not obeyed what I knew was right I would still be irresponsible and would not have grown in spiritual maturity. I've only dated two women in my lifetime. I married them.
There is a lot to factor in. Persons can date for years and not know each other. Persons can date for a few months and know more about each other than many married couples. I spent on the average 5 hours a day after work for three months talking to my new found love. It wasn't in the comfort of home either it was in a phone booth that I drove 15 miles so it could be a local call. Dates? They were with kids in tow. Look I'm not saying it's right for all. But it burns me for others to appoint themselves time keeps over others grieving time frames. Good grief I still have memories of my first wife. The pain of grief in that sense never leaves. But I can carry on as she would have expected me to do and I her had it been reversed.
The saddest thing of all is widows and widowers who deny themselves or think they should deny themselves happiness in a new marriage because some one is going to take exception to it.
Where did you see in this article where the woman said she was over the death of her first husband? She is never going to be over that, no matter how longs she lives or how long she waits to remarry. I am astounded at the remarks being made about her and her new husband. Who are you to say what the appropriate amount of time should be? This woman and her husband have my sincere best wishes. I have no desire to see her suffer in grief any longer than her heart makes her.
Yes everyone is different. Maybe this woman needs to be married more than she needs to grieve or heal. Plus the groom is a long time family friend ---someone she knows well. Maybe he's very similar to the way her husband was and she already knows she's compatible with him. Rebound relationships often don't work but the issues someone has after divorce would be different than if it was death. If this was 7 months after a divorce, I'd think they were nuts and just asking for problems.
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