Time Mag: Making Time for a Baby

Time Magazine ^ | Nancy Gibb

[pettifogger]

Making Time for a Baby

For years, women have been told they could wait until 40 or later to have babies. But a new book argues thats way too late

By Nancy Gibbs

Listen to a successful woman discuss her failure to bear a child, and the grief comes in layers of bitterness and regret. This was supposed to be the easy part, right? Not like getting into Harvard. Not like making partner. The baby was to be Mother Nature's gift. Anyone can do it; high school dropouts stroll through the mall with their babies in a Snugli. What can be so hard, especially for a Mistress of the Universe, with modern medical science devoted to resetting the biological clock? "I remember sitting in the clinic waiting room," recalls a woman who ran the infertility marathon, "and a woman-she was in her mid-40s and had tried everything to get pregnant-told me that one of the doctors had glanced at her chart and said, 'What are you doing here? You are wasting your time.' It was so cruel. She was holding out for that one last glimpse of hope. How horrible was it to shoot that hope down?"

[wardaddy]

Paglia is fairly sage for a Sapphic Post Feminist...

UMLAW bump!

[wardaddy]

Marrying younger women (5-10 years younger) is common in more traditional societies for a myriad of reasons. I like it but that's just me. My folks were HS sweethearts and stayed faithfully married for 50 years till my dad died. It can work either way but yes at your age, I would look for a somewhat younger woman....early 30s would be fine..if you're 37. That'll give you plenty of time to "work on it".

Good Luck!

[Ward Smythe]

For years, women have been told they could wait until 40 or later to have babies. But a new book argues thats way too late

I'm waiting for the next "expert" book that says "women" should have their children before they're 18, that way they can put them in a (state run) daycare and get on with their careers...

[LibertyGirl77]

< sigh >

I'd give anything to have a life like that. There is no higher calling than wife and mother, IMHO. It's my first thought when I wake up in the morning and my last thought before bed--the desire to SETTLE DOWN and start a real home and family. Oh well...guess I'll go back to typing at my desk job and maybe call my commitment-phobe boyfriend....< /single girl pity-party >

[bootless]

Hi PW,

I just did a search on Kim Gandy, and got the NOW homepage. Ouch! She looks uncomfortable in makeup.

At the bottom of her bio page, she mentions a few facts about her ethnomusicologist husband, Kip Lornell, and her two daughters. One has mom's surname; one has dad's surname. Here's the kids' bio:

"Elizabeth Cady Lornell was named after Elizabeth Cady Stanton, the 19th century suffragist leader who wrote the Declaration of Sentiments for the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention, as well as the Woman's Bible.

Katherine Eleanor Gandy, born in August 1995, was named after several feminist leaders: Katherine Austin, former NOW Board member; Eleanor Smeal, former NOW President; and Eleanor Roosevelt, activist First Lady."

I feel so sorry for those kids.

[ColdSteelTalon]

early 30s would be fine

Yes early thirties would be fine as long as she was wanting to start right away.

[wardaddy]

True dat!

[Artist]

"Elizabeth Cady Lornell was named after Elizabeth Cady Stanton, the 19th century suffragist leader who wrote the Declaration of Sentiments for the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention, as well as the Woman's Bible."

It's hard to believe that Gandy named her daughter after a pro-lifer.

Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote this about abortion in 1873:

"When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit."

[bootless]

Wow, good find! Let's send that to Gandy ... think she'll change her daughter's name?

I can only conclude that she didn't do her homework, then.