No matter how depressing your life is, remember there are some people who have it worse than you. Poor Ian. He would have been better off marrying a Kennedy. At least, the Kennedys have money.
Ian will never have to want for anything..the 'Toons are too good at stealing off the taxpayer dole.
Just get someone else to give you what you need, heck you don't even need to be born into the Royal Family of you are the son-in-law of Queen Hillary the first.