[Tumbleweed_Connection]

Update this.

[Howie66]

Here I am! Come and get me, goat breath!

[Mixer]

Nice try. Anyone who trys to capture an american soldier will end up like swiss cheese. I can see them trying to go for more journalists though...

Everyone overseas be careful just the same.

[NorseWood]

I am sending Jessie Jackson. When can I collect my $100,000?

[jwalsh07]

I'll have to sleep with one eye open for a bit.

[Fizzie]

In what currency will this despicable ransom be delivered?

Rhetorical question. The body may be delivered, but the ransom won't.

[coloradan]

Execute Jonny Jihad, and sell his body to Afghanistan.

[lawdude]

Would that Bill Krinton would volunteer?

[Drango]

Villagers to Taliban: We've captured an alive American; Where/When do you want him?

Taliban to Villagers: 3rd Mud hut on the left, next to the goat barn: high noon

Villagers to US Army: See above...Send in DaisyCutter.

[freepsolo]

USA Offers FREE Room & Board -- Inn the Radhead Hilton at Gitmo, Cuba. You're guaranteed Humane Treatment. Free to Express yourself! No - Loss of Limb! 3 Meals with Snacks! The best health care on Earth - discomfort cured (must be in heaven)! Observance of Faith! One Koran printed on fine Virgin long fiber paper (Better then even anything in Pakistan or Iran)! Misbehave - but not be abused! Life will be Great - Allah is just - even over the Infidels.