Requirement mandates CPR for fish

Napa Register ^ | April 4, 2002 | Andrew Kramer

[Grampa Dave]

This is your Friday joke about how inane and total Nannyistic, your friendly Nazi Enviralists have become in the NW.

If I don't respond to your replies, I have a rather long meeting at my church this morning. Have fun commenting, and I shall return!

[Grampa Dave]

This is the complete link to this ridiculous story: (Enviral Whacko Nazis Require CPR for Native Fish)

[Grampa Dave]

Ernest and FF fyi.

Please use your ping lists on this latest from the Envirals who inhale too much in the Pacific NW!

[Grampa Dave]

I can't wait to hear the comments about this from you two!

[Grampa Dave]

John would this qualify for the joke of the day re reality really sucks when it comes from the enviralists.

Please Ping this!

[Grampa Dave]

Maybe a certain conservative radio personality might want to use this today for a laugh and some tears for his audience.

[Grampa Dave]

Just a ping to let you know how your tax $'s are being spent in your area.

Remember they are doing this for the chilrun and the fishies!

[Grampa Dave]

Hey, if for nothing else, your enviral whackos up there are great for a Friday laugh!

[GovernmentShrinker]

Hmmmm. It's nice to try and preserve wildlife and all, but after who knows how many years of hatchery fish being put in the river, how much real difference is there between the wild fish and the hatchery fish? Haven't they done a lot of interbreeding by now?

[Grampa Dave]

Good Morning!

Here is some Friday Morning Humor from those funny and wild whacko enviralists in the Pacific NW!

[DoughtyOne]

After reading this article I need a resusitation box.

[DoughtyOne]

What? No fish defibrelators?

[Grampa Dave]

Great point.

DNA data from farm COHO's (Silver Salmon) and the so called natives is the same.

This data encouraged a Brave Judge in Oregon to rule that the fish were the same.

This will apply to probably every salmoniod up in that area. This decision is driving the enviral Nazi Whackos up there to be even more whacko.

[leilani]

Well, how dare these eco-facists presume to impose their species-centric prejudices upon these poor, oppressed non-humans? If they choose to die, who are we to tell them they should live? Sheesh!!! Can these pseudo-liberal, non-progressive progressives get their philosphical act together sometime soon?

[notpoliticallycorewrecked]

Oh, great now we have to teach fish CPR.

I can't wait to forward this to my boss! I wonder when he will be doing an inservice to update us on the technique. That mouth to gill procedure is going to tough to master and pass along to the students. I may just have to videotape the demostration on that one.

I'm sure that Fish and Game will be our first students! Hehehehehehe

[SAMWolf]

Nothing surprises me any more.

[Grampa Dave]

You aren't the only one!

My wife found this article last night before I did, and she just roared.

A few minutes later a friend from our fly fishing club called up. He too was in tears after reading it.

However, I warned him that if the Kali Enviral Nazi Whackos of Kali Fish and Game hear about this. All of us catch and release the native fish fly fishers will have carry a portable Fish CPR pack on our back. Of course it will have to be solar powered and will only work on sunny days. It should only weigh a couple of hundred pounds. Four guys should be able to get from the back of a pickup to the stream in an hour or two.

My friend stopped laughing and said he would not be surprised if this happened in Kali land.

My wife said that she and my sons would buy me one for my birthday and Christmas if it became necessary. Then she had to leave the room as uncontrollable laughter took over.

[Sabertooth]

"Our intent is to allow them (tangle net fishermen) to catch the hatchery fish, which we raised to be caught, but minimize the impact on the wild fish," said Pat Frazier, a biologist with the state department.

Actually Grampa Dave, I'm not sure this is such a bad thing. It usre seems to beat an outright ban on fishing for the sake of a few endangered fish. I've got a few friends who are salmon fishermen in Alaska, I'll try and find out if they have a take on this.

As for me, I build large custom aquariums. Many times over the years, I've revived apparently dead fish who'd been sitting on the floor or lying on the bottom of a tank after a power failure, using a similar method of forcing oxygenated water past a fish's gills.

I'd have to see a picture of the device, but if it's something that fisherman can just drop an endangered chinook salmon into, and come back later and release it, it doesn't strike me as all that draconian. Beats a total ban.

[Grampa Dave]

I'm sure that the Kali Fish and Game will have a mandatory CPR course for all catch and release Fly Fishers. We will have to go several evenings to suck on fish mouths or to blow oxygenated water into their mouths and out their gills.

If we pass the test, we will get a patch for our hats and certificate to carry with our fishing licenses that have to be above our waist and in sight.

Good luck on your inservice!

[Grampa Dave]

DO posted: What? No fish defibrelators?

Damit (miss spelled on purpose) DO! Now you have given these whackos another idea.

We will have to have a portable Fish Difiber to go with our portable CPR tanks to fly fish in Kali and Oregon. Oh well, maybe they can make them small enough to put on the back of a specially trained dog.

Thanks a lot for your dam suggestion!