Looking for good Military stories (tricks played on other military forces or civilians)

me | 04/04/02 | Me

[M Kehoe]

In Turkey ('77) I was in the hut with the paymaster and two other grunts when in came a butterbar (2nd lewie). Apparently he didn't like standing in line and promptly told the two legs that he needed to cut line to get his casual pay. He said some rather rude things.

So as I was leaving the hut the paymaster looks at his clerk and says, "I believe this butterball's pay records should follow him where he goes." The clerk looked at him (knowing the Lewie was PCS at our detachment) and said, "where might that be?'

The paymaster said, "Eygpt".

The 2nd Lewie was on casual pay ($50) for 5 months.

5.56mm

[disgustedvet]

While deployed to Haiti as a member of a Joint Special Operations Task Force in 1994, all us special ops guys were stuck on an aircraft carrier for over a month. Our mission had been cancelled, thanks to Jimmy Carter, but we still couldn't come home. Every day, that Captain of the ship came across the PA and said "Good Morning America! The big dog off voodoo station is just licking and scratching!" (the ship was the America, and our AO was Voodoo Station). All us Rangers got so tired of hearing this guy that it wasn't even funny.

Our last night on station we got the word that we were going home, and we were not wasting any time getting there either. Now, we had one particular Ranger that was a very talented artist. He had done wall murals, tattoos, etc. The guy was good. That night, this guy sneaks down to the hanger deck, where lots of gear is stored in cardboard boxes eight to ten feet high, and on the sides of this row of boxes draws his own mural depiction of our sentiments.

The mural had the America, broken in half and sinking in the background (like the Titanic). Over on one side laid a battered seal with a bloodied baseball bat lying next to it. And in the center it showed a Ranger, black beret and all, with a large bulldog wearing a USMC sweatshirt in a headlock, and the Ranger was slowly slitting its throat with a large combat knife. Above all this very fine artistic work, you could read the mural's title - "NO MORE F#$%^&g LICKING, NO MORE F%#$^&G SCRATCHING!"

Needles to say, our little mural went over like a fart in Sunday School with the ship's captain. But, our chain of command thought it was cool. It was all in fun, and we were all glad to be headed home.

[winodog]

Never in the army, but I have done all the send new guys out for imaginary stuff on the construction site.A marine taught us this one so it was probaly done quite a bit in the services. When a new guy came to work one of the men would say that my mom was a classical piano player and was world famous. If you wanna get on Mikes good side go over and say I hear your mom is one of the worlds greatest piano players.

It almost never failed. He would ask me about my mom and I would get in his face and start yelling and screaming and tell him my mom doesnt have any arms. Which one of these idiots put you up to saying something as dumb as that.Poor guys felt really really low. I was pretty good at my part though and sometimes we would not let him know it was a joke for awhile.

[Ax]

In the early 60s, the Russian radio operators knew that the US intercept operators were listening in. The cagey Sovs would very slowly lower the volume on their transmitters, while we would just as slowly increase the volume on our receivers, trying to maintain cover. As soon as they had turned their volume down as low as it would go, they'd turn their volume back up full. The noise would cause our headsets to vibrate and our earwax to flood out.

[M Kehoe]

Eygpt=Egypt.

Sheesh!

5.56mm

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

The piano prank is pretty cruel...because my mom doesn't have any arms.

BTW, telling people to look for things exists among all types of workers, including accountants.

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

Dagum! I get a clear visual of the picture from your description. Sounds pretty funny.

[cva66snipe]

Every day, that Captain of the ship came across the PA and said "Good Morning America!

Yea, But I wish she {AMERICA CV-66 / CVA-66} still had a Captain to say that for her. A year after your visit she went into mothballs. What you heard was a tradition usually just at sea. Better to hear the Old Man than the Scuttle Butt that was going round. I did hear our captain get a tad but upset though. I think it was in 1977 we were anchored just off Dubrovnik, Yugoslavia on liberty and an imfamous Adradic storm blew up. We were anchored about a mile off shore and dragging anchor as the winds hit us. The Captain started screaming Set the special sea and anchor detail NOW get this ****** ship underway. I never saw a carrier start moving a quick. It was a close one indeed and in the very same area Ron Brown was killed in.

[connectthedots]

Or a box of grid squares.

Don't forget the box of deflections and when the supply sgt. asks if he wants large or small deflections...

Or the can of track tension

Or the left-handed torque wrench.

[gunner64]

In 1954, at Parris Island, our DI's were ordered to take their Plt's to the outdoor theater to see " The Sands of Iwo Jima" to celebrate the Marine Corps birthday on Nov 10th. As dark fell, our Di fell us out with our scrub buckets, and marched us to the theater. As he marched us in, he proceeded to the front, which we assumed was because it was the best view. Unfortunatly, he kept going until we were behind the screen, where he formed us up, sitting on our buckets.We "watched" the whole movie from behind the screen.

[Eagle Eye]

I once had a guy try to bring back a bucket of steam from the steam cleaner.

[Gamecock]

In 1985 I was attending ROTC Basic. One day were doing rope bridge crossings, slide for life, etc. Towards the end of the day we had the bright idea of throwing our Drill Sergeant into the creek. We caught him, took off his brown round, took out his wallet, and threw him in. He scrambled out, and in the gentle manner that only a drill has, formed us up, marched us into the creek, and dropped us for pushups. In the down position we were totally under water

When we "recovered" he had us form up around him and told us something I remember to this day: "When all of you are officers, remember, there is nothing wrong with having fun at the end of a long day of hard training."

[Newbomb Turk]

We had a little ritual called E-Tool qualification. When we were deployed out in the field far from any supply area we would round up 5 or 6 privates and tell them it was E-Tool qualification testing time.
We had everyone remove there soft cap and we had everyone kneel in a line facing forward. We told them the object was while blindfolded to hit a quarter with the E-Tool and dent it. The first one to qualify did not have to dig fox holes all afternoon
We got everyone blindfolded and ready then said go but before we did we exchanged all of the quarters for there soft caps. You have never seen so many cut up soft caps in your life. And they had to wear them for several weeks in the field all the time getting ragged by the first Sgt every time he saw there ragidy butts.

[Gamecock]

We did the same thing at an interservice school once, except we used officers....

[SamAdams76]

We had a classic prank we would play on the newbies coming into our unit. We would send them to the "basement" to get a tube of "frequency grease" and that he needed to see the Sergeant Major to get the key (our building had no basement). The Sergeant Major, who was in on the gag, would hand over a key on a wooden stick that said "Basement" and depending on how gullible the new guy was, he'd spend the next half hour or so walking around the building looking for the door to the non-existent basement. Well the "basement key" was actually a real key that opened the door to the CO's office. On the rare occasions that the newbie was actually stupid enough to open the door to the CO's office, he'd get the earful of his life from whoever was inside. If the CO himself was there, he actually had a jar of vaseline in his desk drawer with a piece of tape saying "frequency grease" on it. He'd toss the jar to the newbie and tell him to "get the hell out of my sight."

[dennybabyboy-fitzy]

I got quite a few, but one or two maybe best kept for a pint eh?

[dennybabyboy-fitzy]

don't forget the sky-hooks, and the skirting ladders for FIBUA.

[Robert A Cook PE]

Texas A&M - Back when it was a Corps of Cadets ..... Discipline was strictly inter-corps, and handled on a class basis by each upper class.

Talking with my fiancee on the phone late on Thursday. She kept hearing "Up. Down ..............Up. Down ........... "Up. Down........."

Finally, she asked what I was doing.

Told her, "Down. Giving a bunch of sophomores pushups. Up. Down............"

[dennybabyboy-fitzy]

They must have all been sleeping then. big no-no! I'd thrash the lot of my platoon if they embarrassed me like that. I take it they had no sentries posted then?

[dennybabyboy-fitzy]

Quite funny reading some stories here.