(With apologies to the Bard):
SCENE II. Goat's orchard.Enter ROMEO
ROMEO
But, soft! what light through yonder thicket breaks?
It is the east, and Julie Goat is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my nanny, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She bleats yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she bleats:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hoof!
O, that I were a fly upon that hoof,
That I might touch that cheek!
JULIE GOAT
MAAAAAHHH!
ROMEO
She speaks:
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.
JULIE GOAT
MAAAAAHHH!
ROMEO
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Mamvuka.
What's MAMVUKA? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a goat
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Julie Goat would, were she not Julie Goat call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which she owes
Without that title. Julie Goat, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.