Sgt. Mary Thompson, of Spring Lake, N.C., looks at a belt being sold by shopkeeper Nooraaque at a store on the main road through Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan Friday March 29, 2002. For soldiers here at this former Soviet air base, the hot items these days include the cloth hats worn by their Northern Alliance allies, colorful scarves made popular by the U.S.-backed mujahedeen and a variety of items left behind by the Russians when they fled Afghanistan in defeat in 1989. (AP Photo/Greg Baker)
Private Benjamin Crawford, of Paris, Texas, practices dismantling an M-240 Bravo medium machine gun, as PFC Neil Ashley, of Syracuse, N.Y., looks on at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan Monday, April 1, 2002. The two are members of the 101st Airborne Division. (AP Photo/Greg Baker)
As you may have heard, Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge recently unveiled a color-coded terrorism alert system. For example, a "Red" alert represents the highest state risk of terrorist attack, while a "Green" alert is the lowest. If you're like us, you've been wondering what some of the other alerts might be. Well wonder no more, because our friends down at topfive.com have compiled this handy guide:
PURPLE ALERT: Jerry Falwell thinks your children are growing too fond of a certain purse-carrying Teletubby.
DEEP PURPLE ALERT: Smoke on the water, and fire in the sky.
KHAKI ALERT: Pod people from The Gap have hatched!
PINK ALERT: Please disregard. Ridge accidentally washed the red and white alerts together in hot water.
BROWN ALERT: For the love of God, do NOT go in the office bathroom for a while!
JAMES BROWN ALERT: The Godfather of Soul is dating your grandmother.
REDD FOXX ALERT: It's the big one, Elizabeth!
PURPLE RAIN ALERT: Prince is about to change his name again.
GREEN ALERT: Ralph Nader's running for president again.
TOM GREEN ALERT: "Freddy Got Fingered II" is in production! WHITE ALERT: Clueless people wearing the wrong shoes after Labor Day.
BARRY WHITE ALERT: There's an extremely high risk of love tonight, baby.
YELLOW ALERT: Do NOT eat the snow!