Amen...Children of alcoholics DO know how to hide their feelings..(I know too) But, a really good counselor may be able to recognize the classic COA...HOPEFULLY. It is hard to find good counselors...if this person who is helping them only works with trauma and grief...we may never know the truth. I DO AGREE, that being forced to live in an alcoholic is abusive..whether the child (and adult child)thinks so or not.