EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK FOR AIRPORT SECURITY SCREENERS

Nealz Nuze ^ | 03/22/02 | Boortz Listener

[Phantom Lord]

EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK FOR AIRPORT SECURITY SCREENERS

There seems to be a lot of work in the Nuze today from listeners. Here's another.  This particular listener has written an addendum for the employee handbooks for airport security screeners.  Great job!

1. Remember who you are dealing with. You are not a member of a SWAT team who kicked down the door of a dangerous drug dealer and found a traveler on the other side. These are just ordinary citizens who want to fly home to see Aunt Martha. 

2. Most of you will never, ever encounter a genuine terrorist. And while you must not assume that the people you meet are OK, you need not treat them as if you had just seen them on America’s Most Wanted. It is OK to be polite. It is OK to smile. It is OK to let the old gentleman you are searching put his arms down if he needs to rest them once in awhile. 

3. If someone takes a step they should not take, or goes right instead of left, it is probably not necessary to yell at them as though they had just robbed a bank. There is a good chance they did not know what to do because you did not communicate it clearly. 

4. If an Airline Pilot comes through, spend all the time you need insuring that he or she is really a pilot. Once you determine that they are, you can probably relax a little. Most of us wouldn’t mind if you’d spend a little less time on him or her and a little more time on those of us who, through no fault of our own, look like we should be checked a little closer. These pilots are very smart people who could probably figure out a way to crash the airplane without having to hold a gun to their own head. 

5. Take some time and learn about some of the things you see coming through your station. It does not inspire a lot of confidence when you pick an item up as though it were from another planet and ask, “What’s this thing do?”  It inspires even less confidence when you say, “Oh, that’s pretty neat”, and put it back without further ado. 

6. Exercise un-common sense. (Un-common sense used to be referred to as common sense back in the days when it actually was common). Sometimes we get the feeling that if Usama Bin Laden came through, you would take his fingernail clippers away and let him board the plane. 

7. Try to develop a sense of modesty for other people. (I saw a lady getting her suitcase searched today. The female who was searching her bag was disgustedly holding a pair of the poor ladies underwear up using two fingers, while she rummaged through the other articles. You could see that the poor passenger was about to die of embarrassment). 

8. We are all grateful for the National Guardsmen who have had to leave their families in order to help make airports safer. My hat is off to them. I saw one of them in New Orleans today who walked right through a security point with his M-16 on his back. He did not get a second glance from any of the security people. I asked the screener if she knew him. She said, “No, he’s one of the army guys.” It’s comforting to know that it is difficult to get through airport security – unless - you are dressed in fatigues and carrying an M-16. 

9. I got stopped by a North Carolina Highway Patrol Officer late the other night. I was speeding. He was alone on the highway as he walked up to my car. He had no idea who I was. When he spoke to me he was very courteous. I never had any doubt that he was in control of the situation, even though he didn’t raise his voice or threaten me. Even though he had only himself to rely on he conducted himself with more confidence and more professionalism than the average Barney and Bernice Fife working at airport security. 

10. Right now the American public is putting up with your rude, patronizing behavior. We put up with it because we are honest, law abiding people who sincerely want to do our part to make air travel safer. Sooner or later you folks are going to have to adapt a more professional attitude. 

11. For those of you who are doing a good job now, ignore items 1-10, and keep up the good work. Oh – and thanks.   

[phasma proeliator]

Excellent - thanks for the thread!

#8 is priceless - hopefully we won't find out it's also deadly.

[phasma proeliator]

Ping

[Orual]

3.If someone takes a step they should not take, or goes right instead of left, it is probably not necessary to yell at them as though they had just robbed a bank.

Very funny - this actually happened to me on a recent trip. A large National Guardsman threw his body in front of my menacing 5'3" presence and demanded to know where I was going. I had just passed through security where my hand luggage was opened and checked, I had endured a body search, had my boots removed and sent to be checked for bombs, then took a right instead of a left.

[da_toolman]

Boy, that's comforting... ok, now when flying, I'll need to make sure that the arabs AND the military looking people stay seated...hmmm.

[phasma proeliator]

Reckon if I were you, I'd maybe check some ID's before trying to deal with the business end of an M-16.

Course if they refuse to supply ID - you have a case for appropriate action.

Which brings up a good question (at least in my coffee deprived mind) - what type of identification are these military security required to carry? and where does their "free roam" end? Can they simply walk aboard an aircraft - any aircraft - for any reason?

[freeeee]

Don't fly. Works for me.