Jews ( in my limited experience of business relations with perhaps a few hundred good customers and fellow salesman in the furniture industry, over perhaps 15 years ) are, in my estimation, remarkable for 1, their discipline and integrity 2, their frequent and very regular kindness to children-with or without Santa Claus. They have been somewhat critized in some remarks from interviews I have heard from Israel, for this generous practice, regarded as far too materialistic. You see, your #16 I find to be badly constructed-false-and to be a gratuitous, backhanded slap at Christianity, whether intentional or not! I appreciate you are only attempting some light humor, but its likely I suspect, that even very young children have no serious difficulty discerning the religous significance of Santa Claus & his connection to Christian Christmas. That anyone might invent contrived humor about Americans who happen to be Jewish is not at all offensive. IMHO, they thrive on such attention & they have been so successful as to find it almost impossible to avoid'spoiling' their children. It has become cliched.
Your #16 I still find contrived and hollow.