Gore Loses Bid To Run 'Shadow Government'

Newsweek ^ | 3/12/2002 | Andy Borowitz

[Utah Girl]

Just days after it was revealed that there is a "shadow government" in place underground somewhere outside of Washington, D.C., former Vice-President Al Gore was trounced in his bid to become president of it.

SUBTERRANEAN VOTERS GAVE the former vice-president a scant 38 percent of the vote, with 59 percent going to Buford T. Bush, an amateur motocross competitor and a distant cousin of President George W. Bush.

Mr. Gore had campaigned aggressively for the job of Shadow President, which may have been part of the problem, underground voters said.

[Utah Girl]

I talked to my mom this evening, she said that Tipper Gore is now thinking of running for Senator in Tennessee to replace Fred Thompson. Guess the trial balloon Al sent out last week didn't work very well.

[deport]

LOL..... fyi. The tunneling rats can't win a thing....

[Tennessee_Bob]

Tipper can start running in Nashville...head due east and just keep going till she hits the ocean. We don't want her, and don't need her.

Wonder if she is who Al was talking about when he said "We have many fine examples of democratic leadership in Tennessee." Sure as heck wasn't him...he's not from here.

[Cobra64]

Hey Girl,

Algore shaved his beard and his head?!?! That's pretty funny. Is he still stuffing his tight jeans with bananas too?

Do you, or anyone else have a picture of the new "stump."

This guy wants to be Pres. but can't even figure out who he is. Such a pathetic creature. Eh?

I don't know what else to say... except that I shudder to think of him being the President of the United States.

[MadRobotArtist]

This was in Newsweek? This has got to be a joke right?

[Utah Girl]

I don't have any current pictures of Al. I would hate to besmirch this thread with his visage. :-) I did see a picture of him last week talking somewhere, and I just gave thanks that President Bush is our wonderful president.

[Utah Girl]

Yes, this is satire. I thought it was pretty funny though, especially the comment from the fake person when he said that Al was even weirder below ground than above.

[altair]

He gave up without demanding a dozen recounts and filing dozens of lawsuits? I don't believe it ...

[Destructor]

"SUBTERRANEAN VOTERS GAVE the former vice-president a scant 38 percent of the vote, with 59 percent going to Buford T. Bush, an amateur motocross competitor and a distant cousin of President George W. Bush."

You mean Gore's loathsome "kissing tour" with Tipper didn't put the subterranean female vote firmly in Gore's camp?

[alnick]

I heard a joke on the news a couple of weeks ago: a headline that said something like, "Shadow government revealed -- not to be confused with the pretend government that has been going on in Al Gore's basement for the past year."