Gore Loses Bid To Run Shadow Government Subterranean Voters Give Former Veep Big Thumbs-Down

NEWSWEEK WEB ^ | March 12 ,2002 | Andy Borowitz

[Teacup]

March 12

[Teacup]

Poor Al! he can't get a break. Recent Zogby polls say Hillary is in first place as the next DNC presidental hopeful.

[Teacup]

Ping

[Henchster]

“But he wound up being a dead ringer for Uncle Fester.”

Man, I'll bet Uncle Fester is really pissed off after reading that!

[Teacup]

ROFLOL, poor Uncle Fester. Do any of you have a picture of a bald headed Gore?

[dead]

I think I voted for Gore, but I meant to vote for Buchanan.

[Teacup]

HA! HA! HA! HA! Oh wow!

[Red Jones]

I really like Buford T. Bush, he's a great guy.

[Teacup]

Is there really a Buford T. Bush? Cool.

[Liz]

Dang it..........Gore loses again. Maybe the loser could reinvent hisself.
Maybe do Uncle Fester impersonations at DemonRATS fund-raisers.

[glc1173@aol.com]

"Dang it..........Gore loses again. Maybe the loser could reinvent hisself."

Actually, if Algore wanted to "reinvent himself" so as to not lose the gunowner vote again in 2004 - and with it all of Red Nation again and the election again - he could try spending a lot of time at a local range, get into handloading seriously, do a lot of hunting and write (technical) articles for Guns & Ammo, etc.

Algore in his own words, 1992-2000 - including Earth In The Balance!

[1Old Pro]

Mr. Gore is expected to seek a position in the shadow private sector.

Not a chance. He'll teach at a shadow subterranean public college. He'll probably focus on cleaning up the soil and his mantra will be: I'm not for dirty dirt, I'm for clean dirt.

[mountaineer]

I thought Helen Thomas was a dead-ringer for Uncle Fester, but I can see how a bald AlGore also would look like him.

But who does that make Tipper?

[Henchster]

Well, not quite, but here's a couple gems...

[Teacup]

He can be the president for all gofers, LOL.

[Henchster]

Helen Thomas? Oh, you must be talking about that leftover from the old "Popeye" cartoons, in her (not so) new alias:

The Sea Hag.........................................The Rat Bag...

[Teacup]

Maybe do Uncle Fester impersonations at DemonRATS fund-raisers................................LOL, Al Gore invented the light bulb? Doesn't Uncle Fester light a light bulb in his mouth?

[Billthedrill]

SUBTERRANEAN VOTERS GAVE the former vice-president a scant 38 percent of the vote...

A DNC spokesman stated later "given the widespread Republican vote fraud and the blocking of Persons of Color from the subterranean polls, we find that Gore won on a recount."

[Teacup]

I thought Helen Thomas was a dead-ringer for Uncle Fester,

He he he, I think you mean Helen Thomas looks like Grampa Munster, and is Sandra Brunshart's mother. Al Gore looks like Uncle Fester, HA! HA! HA!

[Liz]

Goreon also invented the internet......maybe he could power-up a laptop in his act? LOL.

[Liz]

Yeah. Good idea. Earth in the Balance? More like his future in the balance? LOL